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    • #134496
      Movingonandon
      Participant

      Hi Guys,

      I’ve not posted in a long time. I was a victim of domestic abuse, physical, sexual, financial and coercive control in my last relationship. Over time I’ve accessed therapy and been able to link my childhood, upbringing and family to realising that some of my family members are also abusive who use verbal abuse, control and n********tic tactics. Anyways every year I dread Christmas day. I only bother seeing them so my son can enjoy the day as I’d rather just stay in bed and pretend it’s not happening. Any ways. I’ve laid on the boundaries thick and step by step with mum and sister. Minimising access to me through the phone and them just showing up at my home. Refusing to lend money. Not getting dragged into arguments started by them. And not letting them get me down. This Christmas for the first time ever I’ve booked Christmas Dinner for me and my son. I could of cooked at home but I cant be bothered I want to treat us. I would of ended up spending a load of money catering to my ungrateful family who usually pick mistakes in my dinner, moan all day and cause a fight between themselves. I’m so looking forward to waking up Christmas morning, opening some presents (I am buying my own to put under the tree being a single parent). Going for some Christmas lunch with a glass of something. Passing by my mums for a bit just to see my other family members that don’t cause me so much pain then rounding off at a Christmas party hosted by someone I know. I can’t lie I’m anxious at the backlash and I know my mums favourite technique is acting like she doesn’t care about me when I do something for myself. But I know what to expect and I’m going to enjoy myself. My son still gets to enjoy himself with the family he loves. We get some special time together at our meal out. And who knows I might just make it our Christmas tradition! For anyone who is in an abusive relationship and is wondering about life on the other side. It’s hard, it’s emotional, it’s lonely at times but then the other times your free, happy, in control of your day and liberated. I hope this Christmas period brings everyone peace and if it does not Womensaid are a phonecall away. Thinking of all my fellow survivors and those still in abusive relationships during this difficult time of year x

    • #134592
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Movingonandon

      Thank you so much for your post, and for thinking of other survivors. You deserve to be happy and this sounds like a really nice plan for Christmas Day, I hope you enjoy having that special time with your son. It’s ok to put yourself first and you have done so well to put those boundaries in place with your family.

      Wishing you and your son a lovely Christmas,

      Lisa

    • #134593
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Amazing well done you! There’s so much pressure around Christmas isn’t there but you deserve to enjoy it with your son, they aren’t young for long and you want special memories not dread x

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