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    • #135846
      Hopingforpeace
      Participant

      I’m really struggling as it gets closer to Christmas. I feel so trapped and like I don’t belong with my family. I don’t feel i have anyone to turn to, they just don’t understand.
      My mother won’t accept no contact and keeps trying to get to me via other family members.
      I’ve discovered she has written to a (removed by moderator) of mine who she knows I’m quite close to but she has had nothing to do with for years. She’s sent gifts as they’ve had a baby. She has sent gifts and cards to other family member for my child. She keeps sending letters addressed to my child to the house.
      I have an abusive ex partner who has been harassing me in a covert way and trying to manipulate me through our child.
      Too many Christmas’s over the years with bad things happening. I just want peace and not to be triggered or have to conform and pretend all ok.

    • #135858
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      Hi hopingforpeace,

      So many people dread Christmas due to the fairy tail myth that it is all happy families having the ‘perfect Christmas’. Are you alone at the moment or living with anyone? Who are you expected to spend Christmas Day with and conform and pretend it’s all ok?

      How about doing something for you this year and doing something different?

      Reach out to a local charity who will be putting on Christmas Dinner at a church or village hall for people who are lonely, vulnerable or isolated. If you can get a place accept it. You will be among many other people who are alone for a number of different reasons, and who knows? this could lead to new friendships or a different support network of help.

      So often we see that volunteers put on Christmas dinners and other events for those who are facing difficulties in life but we never see ourselves as one of ‘those’ people. We like to think we are above that. Personally, I have to admit that I thought that these types of things were for people who were beneath me! Yes, I was a bit of a snob I guess and didn’t feel that I fitted in to the category of someone who had stooped to that level. Gosh, how wrong I was. My situation was absolutely one where I qualified for this type of help and support and I had to be humble and accept it.

      Once we open ourselves up to reaching help from places we’d have never dreamed of and open up to people about how we are hurt and suffering, doors start to open to new things. This can be the life changing support that we need.

      xx

    • #135861
      Auriel
      Participant

      Hopingforpeace, I completely understand the wanting no contact and the different ways they try and worm their way in, if you’ve come from abusive family the only thing I can think is to tell the people she’s using to try and get in contact with that you really don’t want contact with her (family can be sly and manipulative how they do things and they lie a lot) if things get to a point that she still doesn’t listen maybe get a injunction, the same goes for your ex too hope that helps some, take care 💜💗💜

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