Christmas Tree

[Ayanna]

This year I will have a beautiful Christmas tree.
I was not allowed to have a Christmas Tree and last year I felt very depressed and did nothing for Christmas.
This year will be different.
I will decorate my place beautifully too.
I decided to make a statement.
I have to start doing the things I wanted to do but was not allowed to.
I have to break out of this mental prison.
This will be a start for doing more things that define the real me.
I think I begin to realise that I am free and that I can do what I want to do, more than three years after fleeing from him.

[endoftherainbow]

I can totally relate to this, im still learning that I can do as I like, I still have moments of panic at something I know will annoy him then remember that im free and can do as I like, each thing that you do, be it small or great is one step closer to feeling better in yourself, enjoy your tree x*x

[lover of no contact]

And its the greatest revenge we can have..enjoying the good things in life, living our life to the full, feeling joy (which abusers can’t), being creative..etc

He’s stuck with himself and his rottenness, but you can move on and heal and not only survive but thrive.

[Ayanna]

I have finished with the Christmas Tree and I have decorated my place.
I also made a few improvements to give the home an even cosier look.
I have never had such a beautiful home ever before.
Now I should be proud of myself and feel joy and happiness.
But I do not.
I am still numb inside.
I take in the view of my place every day and tell myself how beautiful it is.
Maybe one day I can connect to my feelings again.
At least I have done what I wanted and realised that there is nobody who tells me off or prevents me from doing any of the things that I want to do.

[Author]

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