This topic contains 22 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 7 months ago.

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  • #67467
     Anonymous

    Hi everyone ☺

    I always wondered why stress affected me so dramatically. I was diagnose with rheumatoid arthritis when I was quite young. It was diagnosed at the Peak off being in constant turmoil. I have a daily history of this so my consultant felt this was genetic. It strange but every time I had to deal with my ex even in the smallest way. It made me physically I’ll ie extreme joint pain,swelling,lethargy. Reading some of the posts thus seems to be more common than I thought. I’m going to start reading a bit more about this. It goes to show how far reaching DV is. This could have made my life even more debilitating but I refuse to let it. Mainly because yes at one point he broke my spirit but I won’t let him stop me living my life especially now he’s long gone. Has anyone else experienced this? because people think your jyst being precious xx 💕 💕 DIY

  • #67469
     Anonymous

    Sorry lots of typos xx

  • #67470
     KIP. 
    Participant

    My first day of trauma therapy the therapist gave me a list of ailments related to the immune system that are caused by the trauma of living with abuse. Miscarriage, fibromyalgia, ME. Can’t remember the others I was so shocked that even after I managed to escape there’s a good possibility he’s damaged my immune system. I had an overactive thyroid which I know he definitely caused because that was at his extreme outbursts. The body living under extreme stress is going to rebel. But at least I’m free now and if I have to deal with illness I won’t have someone dragging me down, blaming me, zero sympathy. I remember I had to get a heart monitor fitted for 48 hours as my heart kept racing away. He dumped me at the door of the hospital and said to ring when I was finished! Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  • #67472
     Anonymous

    Hi KIP, I kind of new that was the cause. I know when i saw that in writing that confirmation of this would anger me more again. I honestly am thinking about suing for damages. That’s is rubbish you were treated so badly,disgusts me. I see these men as sub human I really do xx DIY💕

  • #67480
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi DIY, i came across a list look beer than your arm with relayed illnesses caused by stress caused but DA. Dear God, if i was an animal id be put down. What they can’t waste is our sense of humour. I’m hoping once I’m out that most of my other problems will lessen. Some wont go because they’ve been caused by trauma to the spine and pelvis b4 him, but others might🙂🙂 maybe we could use one of those firms that call regarding the accident you’ve been in. Wonder how they’d deal with this??🤣🤣
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67484
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Longer not look beer(shakes head)

  • #67493
     Ayanna 
    Participant

    There is a proven link between abuse and chronic health issues.
    Enough studies have been performed about this topic.
    Time for the health services to take this seriously.
    Time for the governments to decide between preventing abuse or dealing with the hight numbers of forever ill abuse victims/survivors. Which is more cost efficient for any country’s budget?

  • #67497
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    hello there,
    did anyone get a reference for this list – I find it so difficult when you go somewhere i.e. benefits or certain (but not all doctors) and they kind of expect you to be ‘over it’ and do not accept with their attitude that certain things are chronic. I have difficulty accepting it myself, but pretending it is not happening doesn’t work for me. I feel I need to keep searching for things/people that help – and ‘ride the waves’ as it were…
    all best
    ftc
    x

  • #67507
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi ftc, i came across it online by accident. I think if you type in key words eg illnesses caused by continued abuse, something like that. It is an extremely long list, very eyeopening
    Hope you’re having a better day today. Outta rotten when you think you’re doing well, then you wake up and feel bleugh.

    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67508
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Ps just looked back my history, its illnesses caused by stress. 💕💕

  • #67509
     Anonymous

    Hi Everyone hope all are good 🙂

    You know ive been so busy trying to put myself back together this wee while, I haven’t really digested how much damage has actually been caused. So were left with life long conditions and no one really even recognises it? Wow, were in 2018 and I honestly think we are the very first survivors of DV. Maybe im being niave that women gone buy were all victims, as im sure some women from the last few generations got out so to speak. Somehow I can imagine many due to big families to look after,relying on men for money, the fear of speaking out or the stigma of being a lone parent etc Were so far behind in dealing with this massive issue that is so far reaching the government is only addressing the tip of the ice berg. Realisation is kicking in for me. IWMB I think I will call to get some advice I wonder if its no win no fee? 🙂 lol x*x

  • #67513
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi DIY, love it, no win no fee🤣🤣I’m buckled.
    Agree with your analogy. Domestic violence/ abuse has gone on for centuries, but years gone by, from what i can gather, the women folk gathered in the kitchen and put the world to rights, they were their own support groups!
    Nowadays, we’re no longer prepared to put up and shut up, you may be right about us being the pioneers in fighting back, i certainly believe that with all my heart. We are the modern day #Suffragette. Instead of votes for women and better working conditions, it’s for better home life conditions, no more being verbally and emotionally abused. It’s very like a bit from the book im reading, recommended on here, the women who run with wolves. There’s a young woman(the writer) who’s standing on the shoulders of an old woman, this old woman is standing on the shoulders of an older woman and so it goes on. The young woman wants to help the old lady and says come stand on my shoulders, you’re older and its only right. But she replies back, no this is the right way. We stand on the shoulders of all the women who have come before us. In other words we gain knowledge, understanding and power from the women who have lived and we need to listen to them. Not like in this part of the world where society shies away from an older women, who is scared of age. If your not young and beautiful and flawless you’re frowned upon, put away into an institution.
    Take heart from us all, we are listening
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67514
     Anonymous

    Good Morning 🙂 IWMB 🙂

    That just about had me in tears but im at my desk trying to look like im not!

  • #67515
     Anonymous

    Good Morning 🙂 IWMB 🙂

    That just about had me in tears but im at my desk trying to look like im not! I think your spot on, the advice I got from my grandmother was exceptional in all honesty she was actually a very proactive lady I guess she wasn’t up against an abuse man in my granddad. Its food for thought, I think I will order that book 🙂

    You know the other day I was thinking being this empowered is actually getting me into trouble. But why should we dumb ourselves down? What thanks do we get for that. They say ignorance is bliss I don’t agree 🙂 I hope you have a good day xxxx

  • #67516
     Confused-and-alone 
    Participant

    I can definitely relate to this – I find myself exhausted all day every day (I do have an under active thyroid) but I find the exhaustion worse when things are bad at home – I think it’s the stress and effort of keeping up the pretence that everything’s fine as well as the stress of having to be hyper vigilant all the time as to what his mood is and how I need to behave. Things are pretty bad at the moment and I feel I’m on the edge of developing an eating disorder- I regularly go whole days on nothing but tea and just can’t face eating because of the knot in my stomach. I’m building up to try and leave again and I think he senses this.

  • #67517
     Anonymous

    Hi there,

    I had put on quite a bit of weight just before my ex left intentionally. It probably gave him the incentive to find someone else! Then post separation I felt like you I had this knot in my stomach I could barely swallow water. I went down to seven stones, I was under weight. I think we do try to keep up a pretense and feel we have to or were deemed crazy or ill. I became a master at putting my face on and looking like all was good, a real Peggy Mitchell. I could leave the house then mins after a screaming match with him and look like nothing had happened. Were taught from an early age not to show our weaknesses. xx

    • #67525
       Iwantmeback 
      Participant

      I find the least wee bit of weight i do put on, it’s just another reason for him to have a go. But he’s only looking out for me, isn’t he.

  • #67522
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi @DIY, don’t you dare dumb yourself down for anyone, no way no how. The more im on here, the stronger and stronger im becoming and getting as angry as hell. I’m constantly told to lose the attitude, no mate, that’s not an attitude that’s me standing up for myself so up yours.

  • #67523
     Anonymous

    Thanks IWMB 💕💕were getting there aren’t we xx 😊👍

  • #67531
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Its good but it’s also so sad that we have problems. Because when they are being really really unbearable we have our problem to fall back on(to blame if you like)) as to why we’re off with them! Its our safety blanket so to speak, WITHOUT mine i know id be on the receiving end of a lot worse, cos he is sympathetic to my back issues. He was there when i had one of my accidents which nearly paralysed me. Just don’t get why he can’t/ WON’T be as sympathetic to how he treats me😞. I do but you all know what im trying to say. You’re the only ones who do🤨👋
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67533
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    love women who run with the wolves.
    all best
    ftc
    x

    • #67536
       Iwantmeback 
      Participant

      Hi ftc, im sure i got it i on your recommendation. It’s strange to gery into but parts of it are so apt. Tapadh leibh (thank you) for the recommendation
      IWMB 💕💕

  • #67534
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    Thought I would post this here as well as on other thread as it may be useful here also.
    all best
    ftc
    x

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