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    • #135087
      Dancer123
      Participant

      Hi just wondering g if anyone can recommend a decent co parenting app, I’ve advised my ex that I won’t be communicating with anymore and to go through my mother for now on, after his uncalled for abuse recently. He won’t text my mother though so I’m left feeling like it’s my fault if he does not see the kids!

      I’m also looking to go to mediation though I’m terrified of his reaction when he finds out, but I feel it’s the easier option than feeling scared of his emotional abuse constantly. Just wondering if they will set out arrangements for him to not come near me or my house or would that be a police matter

    • #135090
      SingleMomSurvivor
      Participant

      I’ll private message you now.

    • #135091
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      Hi there,

      Our Family Wizard is an app that has been recommended so have a Google of that. There is a fee involved, I’m not sure if there are any free ones out there.

      With regards to mediation, do not bother. He will not mediate. Mediation is about finding some compromise and abusers will not compromise, they want it all on their terms. Any suggestion we offer of compromise is us ‘being difficult’.

      Formal arrangements need to be done via the Family Court with a Child Arrangement Order and then use the app to communicate regarding pick up and drop off points, any messages regarding medications etc and then you can get yourself a new mobile number so he can’t ring or message you directly. He would have to agree to get the app too, and if he doesn’t, sometimes the court will order that the app is to be used but you would probably have to pay the full cost of the app and he can download his version for free. Some abusers will refuse to download the app or pay towards it because they actually want to be able to have contact with us in order to continue with a control element. They lose all control with the app because it moderates language and if any abuse does get through the sender can’t then delete it or edit it, so how they really do communicate shines through!

      If you wish for a Non Molestation Order you can apply for one of these via a solicitor or a charity called DV Assist or NCDV. They do require financial contributions towards them if you are working, they are not completely free to everyone. If you are computer competent and good at putting files/documents together you can apply for one yourself online via the family court website and download all the stuff you need to complete but they do require quite a lot of information and it sometimes gets difficult when you come to getting it legally ‘served’ on your ex.

      If he is committing ongoing crimes of stalking, harassment, malicious communications, Public Order offences by abusing you in public, then you can report this to the police and if there is enough evidence to charge him with offences then a Restraining Order can be applied for during the court process. These can be granted on conviction or acquittal, but the police won’t be the agency to go through for a protection order if there are no current crimes being committed. Not all ladies wish to involve the police anyway, so that is a matter of personal choice.

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