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    • #121572
      Jedi warrior

      Been married for (detail removed by Moderator) been unhappy suffered some anxiety so ended up getting councilling from relate on my own as had never confided in anyone that for half our marriage husband regularly pressured for sex if I said no would slam the bedroom door on his way out and tell me I wasnt too tired for my hobbies or to read sometimes dreaded being on own as pressure would start or if he helped me expected sex would I tried to meet him halfway never enough would say I’m rejecting him even if I said i was just too tired he said he needed it sometimes as helped him sleep stress relief he would say sorry sometimes and say I wont get angry again he regularly tells me hes not a violent man felt anxiety sometimes at bedtime and hoped he didnt start a few times he pressured me after I said no clearly until I ended up giving in as didnt want a bad atmosphere ..I made things worse for myself because I recently got emotionally close to a single male I have known for years not sexual after asking husband for separation he said he suspected I had been talking to someone else so one day followed me and saw me talking to male friend got angry with man and said leave my wife alone when we got home he demanded my phone to check for contacts and has since managed to unlock my phone and check messages online activity my we are he also threatened suicide told our grown up son he had (detail removed by Moderator) wrote his funeral plan went to doctors on antidepressants for (detail removed by Moderator) weeks came off then has hypnotherapy for his anger which he often shows not physical has said hes so sorry for how hes treated me wants to try again he went to relate on his own as my counsellor wouldn’t see him with me after I told mine what has happened over the years husband says sorry a lot but blames his actions on stress from his job and says why cant I accept that Also admits hes emotionally abused me I mentioned sexual abuse he got really angry said that my councillor put ideas in my head made me feel bad about having councilling even though he was getting councilling said we should have gone together we are still living under the same roof he is now being a better father to our grown up kids (detail removed by Moderator) at home I cannot continue in this marriage and am on a waiting list for a support worker to help me get back on my feet my councillor suggested this I cannot believe I’m in this situation husband kind in other ways but been I feel guilty sometimes for facing up to my unhappiness was it really that bad ? Feel so sad and depressed and our kids not happy with me

    • #121637
      Main Moderator

      Hi Jedi warrior,

      Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing with us. I hope you find the Forum a supportive place with others who understand how you are feeling and the abuse you are experiencing. It is great you have already reached out for a Support Worker and counsellor. Hopefully the waiting list for a Support Worker won’t be too long.

      If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

      Please do keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

      Best wishes,

      Forum Moderator

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