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    • #121253

      Hi. I am new to this and my journey has been a very secret one. I have struggled for a very long time. I was in a very abusive relationship and although I knew this at the time to an extent, it wasn’t until years later that I realized that I had minimized and disconnected from the events as a way of coping. Memories were very hazy so I was very confused and unsure about things but how I felt at the times of incidents were just as strong now as the feelings I felt at the time of events. I didn’t realise that I was experiencing flashbacks or PTSD until (detail removed by moderator) when I was struggling to function due to daily flashbacks and I had to open up to someone about my past. This helped me so much as well as learning about how powerful the brain is and what it does to help us cope after trauma. It really helped me to understand things. This year I am learning to manage my thoughts and emotions much better and I am being kinder to myself. I really do feel like I am slowly going to the other side of trauma after (detail removed by moderator) of struggling alone. It is never too late to open up about trauma and it is really helpful to share your struggles with others you trust. I am starting to feel free and I wish you all the very best x

    • #121255

      Hi, Kindness, welcome and thank you for sharing such a positive post. Abuse thrives on silence. I found The Body Keeps The Score to be a great book and the author has some stuff on YouTube. Bessel Van Der Kolk x I too struggled with PTSD for a long time, I’ve heard it described as dragging a sleeping wolf around. At least with anxiety and depression you know what it is and when it’s happening. PTSD is a completely different torture. Hang in there and be very kind to yourself.

    • #121257

      Hi Kindness , I’m at the start of recovery and similar to you kept silence for many years . I hope I get peace like you as right now too much emotional stress dragging me down.I have a long way to go x

    • #121267

      Hi. Thank you both for your comments. Tinkerbell2020, you will get there. I still have some growing to do but I definitely feel much calmer and I am definitely heading in the right direction. I always wondered how you would know when your brain has processed these things but you just know. Take good care of yourself and learn about trauma, and then you can learn about yourself and why you do certain things. It really does help. For example I was very angry and responded to that in negative ways. I always linked it with my anxiety but I never really linked them both to trauma. I have also learned that I try to control everything now which adds to anxiety and emotional outbursts when something goes wrong. Now I am learning to control myself when I’m not in control of situations and challenge my thoughts, telling myself that I am safe and it will be ok. I never realized these things about myself. I know I sound like I can be a bit ‘crazy’ but once you understand how things are a result of experiencing trauma and understand yourself, there’s only learning, growing and recovering to be done. I’m a better person for it.

      KIP, thank you for your comment. I will definitely look into that. X

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