communication..

[maddog]

We are supposed to communicate about children issues which is bit of a no-brainer. I am not getting the information I need from him to plan and he expects the children to make their own arrangements.
Anyywaaay…This is how things go. I have no response and I know that my ex is building up a rage.

Him: Can I come and collect my thing and all the bits? When is suitable?
Me: I remember you getting rid of your thing some time ago when other stuff was going on.
Him: Why? It wasn’t your thing to get rid of

I had no part in the disappearance of his thing. He was at the time still living in the house. I think he will make more demands to collect stuff he knows isn’t here.

[KIP.]

That’s exactly what my ex did. Even got a solicitor to write. I would do an inventory of anything you still have that belongs to him. Make it clear that these items are all that you still have and drop them somewhere for him to collect. Or tell him you will send the, over with the kids when they next visit. If these items were so precious they wouldn’t have been left for x years. This is just another game they play. Once you’ve done your inventory do not get dragged into his petty game. It’s amazing how he just disregarded the response. It shows you that he already knew the answer. He’s now just assuming you got rid of it. That’s because we get blamed for everything anyway. It’s crystal clear what he’s doing.
For everyone’s sake make a plan of when he can see the kids and if he doesnt turn up, that’s his problem. The kids will soon get fed up with being let down.

[maddog]

I’ve resisted the temptation of binning his stuff. I’ve put in a part of the building I don’t use. He has been told by the courts to let me know which specific things he wants. That was ages ago. Then I get a ridiculous email from him wanting something he knows perfectly well isn’t here. He was still living here when it was nicked. So much for me getting rid of it.

I think I’d need a removals van to get all his stuff in. He thought he could come in as and when he liked. He isn’t allowed to do that thank goodness.

I think the penny is beginning to drop for the children. Slowly slowly.

these people are the work of the devil.

[KIP.]

Their sole aim is to cause misery. I wish I had binned the lot. I moved it to the shed after he sent people round 14 times. Ignored dates and times we had agreed via solicitors and in the end my solicitor asked me to clean up his stuff as it had been in a shed for x years. And I did. I cleaned the mould off his c**p. I was so traumatised. Now I would tell my solicitor to clean it herself and dump the lot in the skip then deny it was there ever there. I would say the 14 times he sent people round all the stuff was removed. It’s a big game for them and like the good people we are we play fair and by the rule of the law. I ended up getting a friend to go to his house and dump it all on his doorstep. He still got his solicitor to write that stuff was damaged or missing. Well he knew it was in the shed for him to collect for x years. So you simply cannot win, no matter what you do. Just like when you were together.

[HopeLifeJoy]

He is indeed just looking to annoy you…nasty people these….😤
Can a friend of yours collect his stuff and store it at his?
And with your kids, yes only follow the official schedule and when he doesn’t show up you make a note. A few times and you probably can ask to reduce his visitation rights…and who knows one beautiful day you won’t hear from him anymore.

[maddog]

I agree with KIP that his sole pathtetic aim is to cause misery. Like KIP I have been told to keep his things safe. What things? Unless he has an inventory of his stuff it’s nothing to do with me. It’s not for me to do it. The courts have said as much.

[maddog]

I am confused. My ex makes no financial contribution towards the children yet he regularly gets a solicitor to write stupid letters. Surely if he can afford to do that he can contribute towards the children?

[AlwaysSorry]

Hi MD,

You’d think so, but paying towards and helping out his own children is clearly not as satisfying as continuing to bully you by proxy 🙁

[diymum@1]

its abit like having a thorn in your side everytime i hear that song i think thats him! you would think they would have more to do in their lives. i had this too no maintenance money but as far as (detail removed by Moderator) etc no expenses spared! a real man pays for his kids and a real man treats the mother of his kids with respect. thats separating the boys from the men xx

[maddog]

Too right! I told my ex ages ago that I took notes of our conversations. Now that he can communicate only through the written word at least it is his word and I can forward it on to the relevant organisations.

There are 2 sides to a story, like the woman who murdered her husband after decades of abuse. I’m not sure what mitigating circumstances there are for a sex offenders. Just because someone is abused in childhood it doesn’t mean they have to become abusers.

[Anonymous]

Had the same. All my ex’s stuff is packed up and ready for collection. He’s asking for one particular thing that I would need to unpack everything to find. Not doing it. Not even convinced it didnt go with the stuff he has taken. But whatever, he’s not controlling me anymore, so he can like it or lump it.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Landy, well done in not unpacking his stuff, if he wants that one thing badly enough, he can come and pick it all up. Go you😊
IWMB 💞💞

[Author]

Posts