This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #70442

    I am just feeling so low again now … A few days ago/over last few weeks I felt strong and almost ready to leave ..

    My emotions are all over the place.

    I have somehow managed to feel let down by him yet again even though I thought I no longer needed him and genuinely wanted him out of my life

    Do abusers deliberately let us down on things they know are very important to us? It’s just totally.thrown me how it’s left me feeling .. I hate this 🙁

  • #70444

    Actually I think I know whats happened… As usual he is just full of sxxt , he probably never even got round to booking time off for something we had planned on an important day, and rather than be honest and tell me this is what’s happened he has lied as to him this is always the easier option… Apparently (detail removed by moderator)… Hmmmm…. Crazy as I didn’t want him to come now anyway but it’s just another slap in the face, another mess up, that reminds me I am never his first priority… So easy to cry and say words .. as they say, actions speak louder

  • #70452

    Hi Lozzy just want to show some solidarity before I go out. I’m in the same boat so to speak. Something huge is happening(detail removed by moderator), it has to happen, so he needs time off, he won’t come but the dogs need someone around. They can’t go into their hut fir 12 hours,it wouldn’t be fair. I’m starting to worry a bit in case he says he can’t get time off which is utter rubbish, will start putting down the foundations soon, so i have told him at least and I’m going to log when i tell him and his response too. This is the deal breaker as far as im concerned unless something happens in the meantime. They always let us down but if it’s donething they want to do and we didn’t go or saud lady minute we weren’t there would be hell to pay.
    Take care, just know it’s anither nail in the coffin of your relationship.

  • #70457

    Yes, they absolutely do let us down on stuff that is important to us on purpose. They get a kick out of how bad it makes us feel. Horrible but true.

  • #70458

    My ex’s favourite trick was to not tell me about extended family plans – and then spring it on me absolutely last minute. With a small child to look after I’m sure he knew that this would mean it would be difficult for me to attend the event. And then he told extended family/relatives etc that I just refused to go. It was gaslighting. I know that now. However at the time I didn’t know what was happening.
    all best

  • #70459

    My advice is to cut him out of the loop. Rely and him for nothing. Ask him for nothing. Make alternative arrangements unless it’s court ordered. This will go on for years. Abusers enjoy setting us up for failure. It hilarious for them. It gives them a sense of power and control and fuels their fire. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

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