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I’m so upset, confused and feel as if I just won’t come through this.
In (month removed by Moderator), my husband of (number removed by Moderator) years, told me that he didn’t respect me after a silly argument just because I asked was he having an affair as his behaviour had changed toward me and my gut was telling me something was not right. He said he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me anymore. He told me to give him time to consider what he wanted to do, he distanced himself, changed the way he acted towards me. My friend told me he was gaslighting me.
Ive since found he has lied to me about a few things but still denies another person involved. He sent me a “(quote removed by Moderator)” text message that was clearly not meant for me, he deleted it and told me it should have been for his friend. He has told me he wants a divorce. He said we should agree to keep things amicable between us and we wouldn’t tell our grown up children, neither of them live with us, until after Xmas, not to spoil Xmas for them. We have to live together until we sell our jointly owned house as neither of us can afford to move out. Now my husband is being so super nice to me, he still wants a divorce but I can’t accept our marriage is over without him trying and over me asking if he was having an affair. I’m heartbroken
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Hi mumoftwoboys2,
Thank you for sharing with us about what you are going through, it sounds very distressing for you. I hope it has helped to post on the forum to others who understand.
If you would like to chat in confidence about your situation, you can contact a Support Worker from Women’s Aid via our Live Chat service. Support workers will not tell you what to do but they can give support, practical information, and discuss with you any options that are available based on your specific circumstances. Live Chat is currently open Mon-Fri 8am-4pm here.
You may also find it helpful to explore Bloom. Bloom offers free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.
Keep posting to us when you can, there is support here for you.
Best wishes,
Lisa
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