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    • #116360
      seaglass
      Participant

      If you seek advice on forums like this, call womans aid for help, talk to a solicitor so you know your facts and find books/ listen to books about various types of abuse to try and find out why you feel as you do it is unlikely you have made the whole thing up isn’t it? Really struggling with my thoughts at the moment and wondering if I have got it all wrong……..

    • #116383
      Diverdi
      Participant

      If you are wondering if it’s abuse, then it almost certainly is. (although I still find myself searching online ‘is it abuse?’ quizzes over and over despite leaving some time ago!)
      The confusion is hideous, I’ve had moments where I just want to take my brain out and unravel it (not literally), I’m assured it gets better

    • #116385
      KIP.
      Participant

      Ask yourself if anyone else in your life makes you feel this way. Do you have to confront and face confusion dealing with anyone else in your life. It’s not you it’s him x

    • #116406
      seaglass
      Participant

      Thank you both for replying. I think it’s because I had, for the first time ever, apologies and tears. It completely threw me, because I hate seeing people sad, I have sat with it as my initial reaction was to start thinking how we could fix things but there is also a part of me that is like this is the newest tactic as nothing else was working. I’m so confused, but my body doesn’t want to respond to him, even to talk much, the lady from WA had a name for this but I forget what it was.
      But in spite of all the I’m sorrys when our child was being angry and shouting at me he still did not step in to back me up. There is too much of that ‘non action’. Which feels like condoning aggressive behaviour and undermining me at the same time in such a clever insidious way.

    • #116669
      Camel
      Participant

      Apologies and tears are definitely just another tactic. Keep a look out for promises to change and get counselling. Declarations that he can’t live without you. Threats to harm himself…honestly, it’s like they follow a script.

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