• This topic has 4 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by KIP..
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    • #116544
      ultimatelyStrong
      Participant

      I appreciate input please on what “rules” should be put in place when it comes to handing a contact phone number to an abuser?
      If I don’t have specific boundaries he will be contacting me about absolutely everything.

      My ideas are…

      – If child needs to come home early due to emergency/illness.
      – If child needs to go to hospital.

      That’s all I’ve got 🤣 I do not want to be used as an advice line, there are plenty of other places to get that. If she’s poorly he should know how to treat her with medicine etc. And unless he needs/wants me to pick her up I don’t want to know if she’s poorly.

      Does that make sense? Any suggestions welcome please!

    • #116546
      KIP.
      Participant

      Is there a third party that can keep the phone and act as a go between in an emergency. That way he’s not likely to contact at all. Cut yourself out the loop altogether. Drop off and pick up too if possible via a third party. You know already what’s coming with a contact phone. There’s also a contact book that can go back and forth with the kids where he can write anything in it that’s relevant.

    • #116548
      ultimatelyStrong
      Participant

      Kip, yes we have a contact book already in use that works ok. Ex is only just starting to have overnights so I’ve been asked by ss to provide a contact phone number for emergency use. I can ask someone else to keep hold of it and only tell me if something important comes through?

    • #116549
      ultimatelyStrong
      Participant

      Also someone else does handovers for the most part. I do it occasionally to give the person a break

    • #116558
      KIP.
      Participant

      Put as much distance between him as you can because he will use any contact to continue his behaviour and it’s also triggering for you. Just give him the third parties phone number if they agree and that way they can contact you in an emergency. It’s perfectly reasonable that he doesnt have your telephone number but can get hold of you quickly in an emergency x

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