Contacted someone I shouldn’t have

[Eve1]

This is just a quick post as I feel so bad, but don’t have much time.

I have been trying to not contact someone I had a relationship with who was married. I know this is a terrible thing to do, but it was very addictive and towards the end of my abusive marriage made feel better about myself. Just recently I’ve felt the need to talk to him and I gave in. We spoke on the phone and I even gave him’permission’ to ring me again, after saying a few weeks ago I didn’t want us to do this anymore.
It is an un healthy relationship and if it start s up again will only upset me a lot at some point. Thinking about it, I spoke with the counsellor about it recently and she understood how I felt and told me she’d been through something similar and I almost felt like she wasn’t discouraging me from contacting him. I’m not blaming her, of course, but I’m not sure about her. She’s often spent a long time telling me about her experiences. I’ve been thinking about stopping the counselling, but there never dreams the right moment to discussed it. That’s not good either is it.
I am frustrated with myself at the moment.

Eve
x

[Ayanna]

What about posting here instead of contacting this man?
Sometimes, when we are overwhelmed, we talk to the most unsuitable people.
Let this contact die down again.
If you feel you want to call him, call the Samaritans instead or post here.

This counselor misses a few screws, honestly. She cannot discuss her unresolved problems with her client. This is highly inappropriate.

Do not be frustrated with yourself. These things happen. You are aware of it and you have the power to stop it. x*x

[Eve1]

Thanks Ayanna,

That is really helpful. I do intend to not contact him. Today I do feel bad. I saw my parents recently too. I took my mum out by herself. I’ve told her she can ring me whenever she wants and I’ve written down the WA number intending to give her it but I haven’t managed to yet. Also yesterday I forgot to take an antidepressant, I’m only taking 10mg, and right now I feel weepy. I went for a long walk this morning and now I have no energy and feel low. It’s horrible.
Im determined that things will get better for me, but it’s just not happening right now.

Eve
x

[Author]

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