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    • #60803
      Bubblegum
      Participant

      Hi Ladies .I split with my Ex husband few years back now .Life now is s lot easier myself and my kids rarely see him but now again he seems to re appear cause upset .No Supprise but I found out recently he has stopped payed me Child Maintenance.I had to go through Child Maintenance to get money off him which worked while .My Ex has a well payed job but lately his work has not been consistent .My Ex has always worked he also has a drug habit so needs money .What I know is his behaviour has caught up with him lately .I fell completely flawed again worried lost how I’m going to manage felt so over whelmed last night .Heard today a woman I knew of many many years ago took her own life today .She was a victim of emotional abuse from her Ex for many years .She simply could not cope anymore so sad .xx

    • #60804
      Poodlepower
      Participant

      So sad, that poor woman…
      Is there no way you can do without his cash? I know it’s not always possible, but I think him giving you money means he gets to keep a bit of power over you?

    • #60805
      Iwon
      Participant

      Hi there totally agree with the do without his money. It becomes a challenge to them to make you suffer financially. Csa/cms is rubbish unless the person is employed. If they are self employed forget it.

      I am pleased he pays nothing now although I did used to think it was unfair.

      Now I feel better about it. I don’t have to deal with him at all. He has no power over me which is worth it.

      Him not paying has a actually made me feel better. I deal with him much more assertively with kids. If they don’t want to go now they don’t. He is a lowlife who cares about no one but himself
      Always was. Accepting reality and not taking his dysfunctional behaviour personally helps.

      You can do this x

    • #60815
      KIP.
      Participant

      I wonder if you qualify for legal aid? You can try to have his wages arrested at source? I would leave something legal in place that he owes you the money so that if you decide to pursue him in future then you have done everything you can. The money can add up to quite a lot for uni or college when they are older. It’s for his own children. Can you put pressure on his parents to get him to do the right thing?

    • #60817
      Bubblegum
      Participant

      Thank you for your replies Ladies .My Ex patents he does not have a good relationship with them .His Dad died few years ago and he sees his mum when he wants something which is not regular.He has a sister who he does not speak to and can see right through him .Rang CM what a joke .He has told them he is not working .Which what I’m aware of he is not .CM have done checks on him and my case is open any change will let me know .At moment as he has appiled for Job seekers allowance I will get NOTHING for my kids this month .If go down job seekers allowance I will get a pathetic £7 per weeks for TWO kids set out by government what a b****y joke .Even Worse case CM said someone might help him out .Like I said he has not got good reaionship with his parents and for his partner she is still on maternity leave and when she is due to go back soon I can’t see her earnings able to cover bills there baby etc xx

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