- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 2 days ago by gettingtired.
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22nd October 2024 at 4:17 pm #171906bov94Participant
I have only posted a couple of times but finding the support and advice invaluable. Today has been such a rollercoaster of a day just needed to vent.
I was aware something would be happening today that would trigger my ex. Whenever this happens I get messages. He doesn’t directly threaten suicide but alludes to being mentally unstable/in a bad place and says he will be turning off his phone as doesn’t want to speak to anyone. He knows I will worry due to his history of suicidal thoughts. I recognise this as being manipulation, but it’s so hard just to put it out of your mind. I’m on such high anxiety now and will be until I know he’s safe. How does everyone cope with this kind of thing?
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22nd October 2024 at 5:33 pm #171909tryingtosleepParticipant
Hi bov94
Sorry to hear that your ex is treating you like this.
I have been here before.
Just to remind you that this is just what he wants. He wants you to be stressing out about him. Try to find a distraction if you can. Something mindless. Or meeting up with friends. It’s not easy but it sounds like you are coping really well. X
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22nd October 2024 at 6:30 pm #171911bov94Participant
Hi tryingtosleep,
Thank you so much for your reply. Sorry to hear you’ve had a similar experience.
That’s the worst thing isn’t it, you can’t help but feel exactly the way they intend you to feel with their behaviour. I’m busying myself with the children now and will ask someone to sit with them once they are in bed so I can go out for a wall and then watch some mindless reality TV! Having to fight the urge to get in contact with him to check in on him, but have alerted his family so at least they can be aware of what he has said.
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23rd October 2024 at 2:28 pm #171922gettingtiredParticipant
My ex (and it seems many other women’s on this forum) played this card. Unfortunately it just got to the point where I knew it was more manipulation and mind games and would simply call the police to do a welfare check and let them deal with him. Eventually it stopped as he must have realised it wasn’t working and I simply was not going back. I agree with tryingtosleep, distraction and finding ways to focus on yourself is what I’d advise. Take care x
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