Counselling

[Ayanna]

When you have counselling, do you see a man or a woman? I was offered a few counselling sessions by my union and it was a man. I declined. I cannot talk to a man about what happened to me.

[Serenity]

Hi Ayanna,

I was asked which I would prefer. I said a woman, though I would take a man if needed. Luckily they gave me a lady. I am glad, since I think a lot of my ex’s abuse came from his belief in male privilege.

[Suntree]

I have had counselling with both men and women.
I have found the personality and method of counselling more of an issue than if they are a male or female.
My rule of thumb is not every counselor or their methods is right for you and you have a right to change should they fit and don’t feel guilty about saying so.

[SaharaD]

Specialised dv/da counselling should always be with a gender professional the same as the survivor.

All contact I had in terms of counselling and support has been with female professionals.

I had a year of counselling for the abusive relationship with two lovely ladies based as part of a dv organisation (not women’s aid)

[Ayanna]

That is what I thought, SaharaD. I always receive the wrong treatment.

[godschild]

I was allocated a male phyciatric nurse form community mental health team and I said I needed a Woman, I could not talk to a man about abuse, I think its totally wrong for an abused Woman to be expected to.
They did listen and give me females but it was all a waste of time anyway as it happened but personally I would not speak to a Man.
Can you not request a Lady Ayanna

[Ayanna]

That is what I did, Godchild. I am not sure whether they will do this. I think I finally need to understand that women like me are outcasts and not worth any proper support. We live in a divided society and for some people there is just nothing available.

[godschild]

You are so so worth proper support Anyanna, the fact that is it not there is no reflection on your worth its the stinking systems
If ever the Police have attended here thy always say there is help out there, and see your GP, I have proved it is an utter waste of time, phone calls, sekinghelp fr the past weeks has got me no where
With my disbalities I am very restricted in gettig help but being able to read and share on here is such a help and to talk to WA as no one else seems to understand the abusive tactics at least I get validated in my feelings by them and on here

[Ayanna]

Yes, Godchild, here is the only place where we are understood. In the real world I cannot talk about anything I go through. I am viewed as someone who has done something wrong and accused and victimized. So I better never talk. Otherwise I get more trouble. The GP thinks I need to move on and it is ridiculous that I still have flashbacks and nightmares. They say I am out of everything, so what do I want.

[godschild]

They just don’t have a clue, yet there is a lot of understanding for war veterans and other trauma that goes on but DV is grossly misunderstood and neglected, I read it can be likened to being a POW in your own home.

There has always been a wrong , wrong attitude to Women by Men, they may have fought for the vote and won but mens attitudes in general are demeaning to Women

[White Rose]

Suntree is right I think. We all feel we can’t cope with opening up to men but these are professionals and it shouldn’t matter if male or female. How many of us have had raw deals from female GPs or female police officers?
The first people I spoke to about my sexual abuse were two male police officers who came when I’d phoned as my husband kept harassing me in my new place. They gave me confidence to talk. The female officer who came a week later treated me like a child and actually told me the email evidence I provided simply showed 2 bickering adults and wasn’t abuse. Police abuse team and local WA support worker who asked for evidence at a later date felt otherwise!
I’d rather have a good counsellor who I can trust than a female who I can’t. I do appreciate though that not everyone shares my feelings!

[Ayanna]

I cannot speak to a man about this. There are many great women around who are brilliant counselors. I wish I could afford them.

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

U need to feel comfortable yourself,if u more relaxed with female go with female, i ghave had two female and one male,the only reason i didn’t stick out with male was causeof my finaincail situationa t time, but male one was so understanding too, i think we havew this prespctive that cause we were abused all men think the same, there r soem decent guys that do see things from our view. I would google d v agenices up and see if they can offer u any counselling

[Author]

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