30th January 2016 at 8:42 am #8617vodkamonster23Participant
Woke up feeling in shock still (detail removed by moderator) years of emotionally and physical abuse I got finally got away from him then (detail removed by moderator) years on he’s stallked and harrased ME it’s been hell with the help of safer places Ive now got a restraining order and a prohibited steps order.
We went to family court (detail removed by moderator)The judge gave me full custody of the children and said the only way he can now see his children is too take me to court one day which he isn’t going to do!
Iam happy I finally got what i wanted but feel sad for my kids that he would do that in a court room!? I feel sad he won’t and can’t be normal and after all these years it’s for now over just feel a bit numb and it’s not sunk in yet
30th January 2016 at 8:33 pm #8647LisaMain Moderator
You have been so brave and done so well. It is perfectly normal to feel how you are feeling. The whole thing has been hugely stressful and you are probably still in shock about his reaction and the outcome. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a bit of time to grieve and get the closure you deserve. Get plenty of support at this confusing time.
You have done brilliantly and I am so happy for you that your kids are now safe.
30th January 2016 at 8:59 pm #8649Falling SkysParticipant
Just want to show my support and love for what you have gone through and survived.
Now is the time for you to heal, find out the woman you should be.
Don’t be hard on yourself, you need to greave, good day and bad days. My support worker and I believe that I will have a hard time once I’m free, so in seems to be the way of these things.
You give us all hope.
31st January 2016 at 1:19 am #8679AyannaParticipant
Hi vodkamonster23, congratulations on your success in court! The freedom that we finally get does not feel like freedom. My court hearings are several weeks over and now I suffer differently. I have the scariest nightmares ever and I scream in my sleep more than while I was going throught he court hearings. I cannot connect anymore to my emotions. My life happens in a grey matter most of the time. Although recently, I experienced some glimpses of happiness, they were like faded memories. I do not know how long recovery takes or whether recovery is possible. At least there is no abuse, I tell myself that I live in a safe home – yet I am not convinced. I began to remember what I wanted from life before I met him and I work on fulfilling these forgotten goals again. It may be a start towards recovery 🙂
31st January 2016 at 8:39 am #8688SadandconfusedParticipant
I posted something similar a few days ago. I think its a coping mechanism to not be able to let it out or to try and act like its not your own story as too accept it all would be just too hard.
You are free and you have kept your children safe and I know to go through that process is incredibly hard and emotionally draining.
Congratulations and be kind to yourself
31st January 2016 at 10:04 am #8696vodkamonster23Participant
Thanks ladies my family thinks Iam mad and that I should just get on with it now! Iam so thankful he never killed me and my kids are safe but it’s been a long long time and took every last ounce of my strength to go to court with him. Ive been left with having Post trumatic stress disorder and nightmares aslso still live in the same town and worried Iam going to see him or his family we really need a move a fresh start somewhere but due to him not paying child maitence I can’t afford to move.
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