Cracks are showing in my armour

[EeyoreNoMore]

So since the abusive relationship ended (detail removed by Moderator) ago I’ve had my daughter taken away by him, returned by the courts, he’s making allegations that I have a drink problem (I don’t) and that my teenage son has a tendency towards young girls (he doesn’t and this makes me sick).

I have spoken to his ex who says that he used to beat her. I have spoken to another ex who said that he stalked her.

I spoke briefly to my CAFCASS worker who said that she’s spoken to him about the allegations of previous abuse and he’s explained them away (what else would he do??!!). She said that they are historic and don’t relate to me so probably not relevant.

My immediate boss has been great but my line manager is being a bit awkward about the amount of time I’m having off to deal with all this (I work full time).

The icing on the cake this week is that one of my pets has been taken poorly. Last night I was sobbing like a baby in the vets and have been up every 2 hours in the night to administer medicine.

I’ve been so strong but feeling overwhelmed by it all right now.

I know it’s just a blip – thanks for listening!

[Suntree]

That’s a lot on your plate.
Crying is okay.

(detail removed by Moderator)
Why do they also decides the person who abuses one member of the family won’t do it to the more vulnerable? Is beyond me.

Hugs

[godschild]

Sending you a hug of support, so much at once and lies form the abuser as ever,tehy should take historical abuse into it ,its all about his character ,tears are healing so let them flow you may well feel stronger after shedding tears,take care xxxx

[bunsandcakes]

Sending strength and positivity. You are holding down a job. You are dealing with and being responsible for your animals. You are wising towards him and his past. You need to give yourself a huge hug fkr that.

Crying is ok.breaking down occasionally is ok. It will get better. X

[EeyoreNoMore]

Thanks ladies. I think I’m just a bit surprised that is was a poorly dog that sent me over the edge. I’ve held it together through all the rubbish but it’s always the smallest things! xx

[Serenity]

Hi Eeyore,

I’ve been there, I know how you must be feeling.

Apparent authorities telling you abuse isn’t significant, your ex trying to take everything that’s dear to you.

You will rebuild you armour again, but at times like this, you need to focus upon yourself and your own healing.

The thing that gets me through when everything seems to be crashing down on me is to use the ideas and exercises used in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and Distress Tolerance.

You can find the exercises on-line. For example:

(detail removed by Moderator)

You will be back battling with your armour again. And what’s more, you’ll beat that bully!

[Healthyarchive]

Life can be better post abuse, you can develop skills that you didn’t have before, I think that I have.

[KIP.]

The historic abuse is relevant and don’t let them tell you otherwise. Not once but twice! Shows a clear pattern and one that will continue. Some ignorant people shouldn’t be in a job. A man who stalks and beats women will never change and they think he should be in charge of a child. It still shocks me. Would they allow their child to spend time with him!

[Author]

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