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    • #117249

      Good morning all,

      Does anyone have any pointers for essentially disappearing?

      I know I can change my name by deed poll but would it be linked to my old name?

      I currently rent a local authority house, so I couldn’t do a swap as he’d get info on where I’ve gone from the new tenant.

      I have no money to private rent.

      I know I can be hidden from the electoral register.

      He has VERY close friends high up in the police force so going to them is an absolute no no and I’m sure he’d be able to get one of them to check on the pnc. I am aware that is an offence but that’s pointless after the deed is done.

      Has anyone successfully moved hundreds of miles away and been able to remain hidden??

      I also will struggle to get a job. He is also my boss. I don’t have any other references so that I could get a job.

      I hope I’ve made sense. Thank you for reading.

    • #117288
      Main Moderator

      Hi MollyMollyMollyMolly,

      Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be.

      Have you considered going into a refuge? A refuge is a safe house which offers temporary accommodation for women and their children. There are refuges throughout the UK which provide a place of safety for any woman who needs to escape abuse, married or single, with or without children. To find a refuge space you can either contact Women’s Aid via the live chat and a worker can search for vacancies for you, or you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 24 7.

      Our Live Chat service is open weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends.They won’t tell you what to do, but they can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here:

      Please keep posting to us when you can.

      Best wishes,


    • #117320

      Thankyou for your reply. What would happen to my home possessions if I had to go to a refuge?? It would need to be out of area as he knows our local one. Some idiot gave it away on a social media post that was taken down but it had already been seen by him and many others.

      I have no children at home so would be just me.

    • #117364
      Main Moderator

      Hi there,

      The refuge in your local area would be unlikely to accept you as it is often too high risk to be in your local area. There are refuges throughout the country so try to think of a place you have no links to so it reduces the chance of you being traced. Each refuge is different but there may be support to collect your belongings with support such as the police after you have left. The Survivor’s Handbook has some information and FAQ’s about refuge-

      Are you in contact with your local support group? They can also help you with a safety plan to leave and explore options with you. You can find your local group here-

      Best wishes,


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