Daily abuse/mood swings

[Sameold]

I have a baby and since she was born (detail removed by Moderator) his tantrums and mood swings have got so much worse. He’s not physical but he flips over literally nothing, it’s always something so trivial. I get shouted down, called a n********t, I literally can’t speak and if I do get a word out it’s flipped and it’s me that’s doing whatever I’ve said??
I feel like I’m going crazy and I’m so so sad. What’s happened to him? He’s always been difficult but this daily behaviour is another level.
I’ve told him it’s abuse and he calls me the abuser???
(detail removed by Moderator) years ago during a row I wrongly lashed out, he was b****y awful too but because I hit him in the face he holds it over me and every row he tells me it’s me and how everyone will know etc.
I had counselling straight after as I was disgusted with myself I was in a dark place with recurrent miscarriages, no excuse but I lost the plot.
What he’s doing to me now is so much worse i swear my head is a mess, I’m a mess, then he’s fine for a day and telling me he loves me etc.
he will never ever ever apologise for any behaviour and I just feel so helpless and lonely. Trying so hard to hold it together for my other child and my baby, I don’t want them growing up thinking this is ok?
I’m hurting so much

[Lisa]

Hi Sameold,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. What you described sounds really overwhelming-you mentioned that his behaviour has escalated since your baby was born. Domestic abuse can start or escalate during pregnancy or after childbirth. you are exhausted and he is choosing to chip away at you,making you feel you are to blame.

You mentioned how he holds it over your head- what you described was a reaction to his abuse- not a pattern of behaviour. He wants you to doubt yourself and your own mind. Abusers do not take responsbilty for their behaviour and its a very confusing place to be in.

I would encourage you to contact your local domestic abuse service. They should be able to provide you with ongoing support for what you are going through.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Author]

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