Dating again.

[Pinkheart]

I decided to join a dating site a few weeks ago. I met three men. Two weren’t really for me, and the last guy I went on few dates with we did connect. He does seem really nice, actually a real gentleman and we do have loads in common. We haven’t discussed why our past relationships ended and spent more time getting to know one another, which has been nice because the other dates I went on were more like an interrogation on why my marriage ended.
The last date I cancelled. I know it’s me trying to protect myself from being hurt. I also find myself analysing everything this guy I’m dating says. I’m pretty sure this is common after coming out of such a negative and abusive relationship. I’m told by friends to ‘go with the flow’ and just see what happens, but I can’t!
I’m not sure how I’m going to get past this! Is there any support groups or books out there which will help when starting to date again??

[Eyesopening]

Hey, I haven’t got the the point of dating yet but I analyze what people say all the time anyway.
But this book is an amazing tool for preparing yourself for relationships and for protect yourself.
Its called Boundaries after pathologically abuse, its small and practical. But so important.

[Pinkheart]

Thank you! I will have a look at that book.
I’ve enjoyed meeting new people and it has gave me more confidence, but now I feel a connection with someone I’ve automatically pushed him away to protect myself!

[Eyesopening]

Also watch Youtube vids about reflags, just so you are aware of them all. As our experiences may not have exposed us to every kind of red flag.
Dr Ramani has a great video, it’s about N**********c vs. Healthy Relationships, she talks alot about the start of a relationship also. As my abusive one was my only relationship, this was really important for me to realize. That the extreme highs in an abusive relationship is not healthy, there should be a slow, steady, calm start to a relationship. But she explains it better ofcourse
xx

[Eyesopening]

https://survivorsforum.womensaid.org.uk/forums/topic/did-i-read-into-this-all-wrong-or-was-this-man-another-manipulator/

Its a good thread to read

[Pinkheart]

Thank you so much! I’ll have a read and look on YouTube. I too have only been in one relationship.

[Author]

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