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I was just wondering – how far along into a new relationship/seeing someone/dating do you ladies wait until you tell them about your past relationship and the abuse?
I have just met someone who seems great, but my ex (detail removed by moderator). Who knows what is going to happen with my case. It’s a lot for a new person to digest and even take on. We spoke briefly about why our previous relationships ended and he was brutally honest about his but I just felt I couldn’t be about mine. I was vague and just said something along the lines of “he just wasn’t who I thought he was”.
Thoughts?
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It’s nobody’s business what happened to you. I wouldn’t be giving any details until things got very serious. Try to put it to the back of your mind. Your past isn’t your future and doesn’t define you, and as long as it doesn’t affect the relationship, I’d keep it quiet. Some not so nice men can also use it against you or see you as more vulnerable. I used to say ‘he didn’t come up to the required standard’ and laugh it off x
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i remember starting out again and i had a huge court case infront off me. i think he felt i was abit off an enigma! i kept my cards close to my chest until i knew things were going to progress. he did support me through it all but i told him very gradually. the thing he didnt understand was why i stayed for so long given how badly i was treated. over the years he now understands that i was traumatised. things do pan out so slowly slowly id say x*x
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