Day 1, tough day

[Chasingrainbows]

I have asked my husband to move out. He left (detail removed by Moderator) on a trial time apart until (detail removed by Moderator) before we review it. It’s hard for us, he has been diagnosed with (detail removed by Moderator). He was diagnosed as a result of me telling him he would have to leave if he did t get some help back in (detail removed by Moderator). I came on here after advice from a friend and realised he was emotional abusing me and our girls due to his anxiety. He moved out at the time for (detail removed by Moderator) whilst the crisis team worked with him and he started therapy.
I feel a bit lost and lonely and on my own right now. It’s all so stressful!

[Soulsearcher18]

Hi Chasingrainbows
I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.
You don’t mention what support you have in place for yourself?
Now would be a really good time to start building a support network for yourself and your children.
It may be worthwhile starting with your GP and booking regular appointments with the same GP for continuity of care- finding out what counselling services they have available and can refer you to. Often there are wait lists for these so worth getting onto them now, even if you are unsure- by the time your appointment comes around, you may really need it, or can decline but at least you have the option.
You can use the 24 hr National Domestic Abuse Helpline that’s on the women’s aid website and the webchat facility if you need to speak to a support worker. There is a directory on the womens aid website where you can find local domestic abuse support- many are starting to run their groups again and you may find a course like the Freedom Programme useful, or Power to Change. Also, you may find attending a local survivors group useful and your local service should be able to advise you on this. Some groups are being run on-line.

There is also Mind the mental health charity that have a website with lots of info and also run support groups and have local lines available for support. There is also the Samaritans helpline which has been highly recommended on here if you need someone to talk to out of hours.

Sometimes just reading through some of the old posts on here can reassure you that you are not alone and that there is light ahead. Also keep posting as there are many who are in similar position and many who are ahead in their journey and can offer support.

Hope this helps a bit, take care.

Soulsearcher

[Chasingrainbows]

Hi Soulsearcher, thanks for that. Only just read it as I only just realised how to find replies to what I’d written!
I’m already seeing a lovely female Dr who is currently seeing me twice a week for the time being to help with this tough period.

I have looked after everyone else for so long and tried to do for myself too but definitely neglected myself. I’ve got councelling booked now for soon enough if I need it too.

I’m gonna get through this week then contact some of the places u recommended. Thanks

[Watersprite]

Keep going you are so brave – it gets easier! You are not alone – lots of understanding on here x

[Chasingrainbows]

Watersprite thanks. He’s been here (detail removed by Moderator) to see kids. It’s hard he’s trying to be nice, but it’s weird because he’s bought me something almost like ‘hey I’m nice now, let’s draw a line and move on’ but it was too much for too long. And now I think the kids are confused about everything too. Thanks

[Watersprite]

It’s what they do – cycle of abuse. It doesn’t last. Write down the reasons you needed out so you can remind yourself. Best to go grey rock with him – maybe look that up or someone else can explain better than me – no reaction no drama no contact. In my experience they only get worse no matter what mask they put on when they know you are getting strong. It is confusing for the kids but better they have a strong healthy role model for a mum and they are safe x

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