Depression

[Gazebo]

I’m starting to wonder if I’m suffering with depression or its just being around him? We go out as a family to the shops or sit in the living room but I have nothing to say to him and feel I cant even speak or speak around him is this depression is this just being with him – when he’s on lates and I’m with my children i feel slightly better as I know I can avoid him.i just wonder if I should see a doctor I feel really low around him and do get bad thoughts indont think I’d do anything because of my children but I sometimes think it’s a way out of this nightmare. How do people cope feeling like this – he’s always mentioning it saying you are quiet or moody I never know how to respond as I never want to start and argument although part of me wants to scream at him your the problem. Xx hope that all made some kind of sense xx

[nbumblebee]

Yeah i get this is it no wonder though?
You are always on edge always worrying waiting for them to bite. Worrying you will say or do the wrong thing that will set them off so you stay quiet so theres no way you can make them angry but even then they get angry cause we arw miserable or ignoring them or thinking about another man or youve gone off them or whatever their excuse is, am I right? Is that you too?
If you are concerned you are depressed then you really should see your gp sweetie get some help there but honestly I believe its because of him how he treats you the problem is with him not you x*x

[Gazebo]

That’s all so true I hate living like this, he’s sat there (detail removed by Moderator) saying your so lucky to have me aren’t you I pretended not to hear as I have no response to him. He sits on the floor next to me rubbing my leg i hate it so much sounds so minor but it makes me want to scream and cry xx

[Gazebo]

(detail removed by Moderator) I’m getting the want to feel my legs I said no 5 mins later you sure you don’t want to so many women out there who want to ;-( xx

[nbumblebee]

Im done too yoday sweetie i think ive just reached the point where i cant fight anymore.
(detail removed by Moderator) he stopped me from going to work i knew it would happen and today like an idiot i let it happen. He looked so happy about it.
These men of ours are (detail removed by Moderator) gazebo i just wish we had the strength to tell them to f**k off. Am right here with you sweetie hang in in there.
Did you manage to talk to WA or your GP?
Maybe they are your next steps.
Big hugs x

[Gazebo]

I had a message from a lady from a drop in clinic so hoping to chat to her tomorrow xx I’m so with you I wish I was stronger to say f off…… I’m so sorry you’ve has a bad day today to thankfully I did have work xx I’m dreading (detail removed by Moderator) as half term for me starts but not Mt children and he’s off and he keeps saying ooh a day to ourself I’m dreading it so much 😢xx

[nbumblebee]

Yeah i get that too babe.
But OMG how amazing are you that youve had the courage and are chatting to someone tomorrow honeatly that is just so amazing hood on you girl. Its a really good move foward be proud.
Hang on to that when hes being (detail removed by Moderator) keep it in the back of your head that you are slowly fighting back.
Hey can you maybe make plans for (detail removed by Moderator) drs even? Just so you get a break away from him for a bit? Saying that ive got a day off with mine (detail removed by Moderator) so yeah feeling your pain.
Stick in there if you can let me know how you get on with the chat tomorrow, thinking of you x

[Stargazing1]

Gazebo alot of what you write I can so relate to it .I too like yourself want to tell him f off. I too find being alone so much better than being with him . I am sorry to hear you are so down but I think that’s how it gets us . Hope the chat at the clinic went well . I just can’t believe how your story had so many similarities. Take care 🙂

[Gazebo]

Are you still with him? So sorry you are going through it too xx dreading my day ahead as we are both off and kids are in school. Haven’t ma aged to talk to tht drop in yet as she was off hopefully calling me tomorrow now xx

[nbumblebee]

@gazebo stick with it sweetie youve done the hardest part by reaching out now keep going one step at a time. Thinking of you x

[Gazebo]

@nbumblebee thank you how are you doing today xx

[Stargazing1]

Hi Gazebo, I’m still here yes . I’m not much help to anyone today I’m feeling very well . I know what you mean about the dread of it . Sending hugs . Hopefully you will get that call soon x

[Stargazing1]

Hi gazebo I meant to write I’m not feeling very well . Sorry about that .

[Gazebo]

Hi ladies.i hope you’re feeling a little better stargazing1 I feel I’m no good on hear either as can’t offer anyone any advise as don’t know how to deal with all myself xx I spoke with with domestic abuse lady yesterday which was to set up an appt so first week in Nov I will be having a face to face appt feel very nervous about it.aa sometimes I wonder if its all me and isnitnin my mind or am I overreacting thankfully uts half term now so a lot less time with him on my own and can enjoy my children when he’s at work xx hope everyone is doing OK as well as we can be xx

[nbumblebee]

I am so so so proud of you took great courage that you really should be so proud of yourself.
Please just hold on to that courage for next week this is not all you this is not all in your head you are not alone we are right beside you every step of the way. When you can let us know how you get on.
Stay safe stay strong you got this xxxx

[Bee1]

We can’t always be The Mighty Warriors of 24/7, I think it’s good that we can come here to just be here for each other, whatever the weather.
I am grateful for you all being here.
And send love and hope out to us all 💓

[Living Warrior]

Hi ladies,
i saw your post and thought i would comment, i hope that is ok.
You are all doing amazing!!
even the fact u are sharing here is something to be so so proud of!
it gets it off your chest and out of your head.

I am out of my DV relationship now i have been for few years, but still have court dates etc and i still suffer extrememly bad with anxiety, so i can understand where you are coming from.

Some days you feel as if you cannot go on anymore and the anxiety of these people being around us breaks us down and makes us feel useless. we question our every move and thought and this causes the depression.

my depression got better when i left- although as you are probably aware leaving needs time- plans and safeguarding to do safely- my anxiety worsened at certain points- around kids birthdays- court dates and such.
i found day to day though after the first 6-8 months of being in my own home with kids, that i felt safer, yeh he still had his ways to try and break me down- but the space i had (my own home) gave me that time to recouperate.

i just wanted to tell you all it can get better- it takes time, planning and help from womens aid or such charities.
please dont give up, stay safe and keep posting!

[Author]

Posts