Desperate for male attention?

[gettingtired]

There’s a song that keeps repeating in my head that sings something about being so lonely you could die. Well that’s how I feel!!! A little dramatic I know but I feel so desperately lonely I don’t know what to do or what to think anymore.

I’m super envious when I see happy looking couples, especially if the man is attractive. I want that! Not the attractiveness but the happy couple life. Or a male that I view myself as being attractive, to find me attractive too.
I’ve found myself for a while now really wanting male attention (not even to talk to men but just for them to notice me or think I’m attractive).
I’ve never dated and am still in my ‘relationship’ (if you can call it that) but I’m looking at men in a completely different way now. Back when I didn’t realise my partner was abusive towards me I never had eyes for anyone else and couldn’t have cared less as I was so infatuated with him. Now I find myself scanning other men, wondering what they’re like in relationships, if they’re abusive, hoping they find me attractive, imagining being with another man etc. Not just any men btw, only men I find attractive myself but still. I guess it’s just like wanting to be wanted?

I’m ashamed and embarassed to feel this way but I do.
Can anyone relate to this feeling?

[Bananaboat]

I read a quote earlier that said before you become clear on the type of person you are & who you want in your life, you will often find loneliness first before you find love. And that hit home. You need to discover yourself first, really know what you want and define your boundaries. Jumping into another relationship too quickly risks making mistakes. As we all know, looks can be deceiving and just because that couple look happy doesn’t mean they are behind closed doors. I think as well when I’m sad I notice all the happy people, almost cruelly to highlight my sadness. I saw someone, I think it was KIP say to someone else earlier ‘try dating yourself’ for a bit. xx

[Mellow]

I can relate I’m living with mine I have found someone in secret I’ve been flirting but I have told him it’s over in my head I’m done I’m starting to feel a bit like a user I still sleep with my abuser just for physical attention but I know I don’t love him anymore or these men it’s starting to become control for me

[gettingtired]

Same, I think for me the relationship was done a long time ago but I just can’t seem to cut the ties that bind. I’m still emotionally attached and some days struggle to accept he’ll never change and that there’s no future for us. We’ll certainly not a happy, stress-free one for me.
It’s the fact I could never bring a child into this mess with him that’s upsetting and to think that one day I’ll lose my family as we all do and that would be pretty awful to be left alone with him I think. It’s really hard some days, especially when you see that glimpse of the nice side of them..
I still sleep with him as well (only when he wants to 🙄 just another thing that’s always on his terms) for physical attention which makes me feel like a terrible person sometimes but the reality is they use us for sex anyway. It’s difficult because you face a deep loneliness whether you leave or stay don’t you? The leaving option means there’s some light at the end of the tunnel eventually though I guess.

[Mellow]

I’ve even started mirroring my abuser putting my phone on loud it really is ridiculous and exhausting but I tried it to see and I really don’t understand how someone does it every day.he never puts phone down women on phone every minute even in my existence.I’ve been eyeing up other men for attention.he comes to my bed looking for sex.really I’m now doing what he does but in my eyes I said it’s over I asked him to go.wether he will or not!

[nbumblebee]

You want someone to come rescue you? I know I do I dream about that all the time I see a hapoy coupke and I want that.
I want someone to come pick me uo and say you dont deserve this cone on I got you.
I want someone to tell me they are proud of me they think im perfect flaws and all that supports and encourages me and one that doeant hurt me.
You do too right? My god can you blame us? You put up with so much and you deserve so so much more but a man no matter hiw amazing will be able to totally save you. Sweetie you are the only one that can do that. You must wrap your own aems around yourself trust yourself love yourself treat yourself with kindness and respect first before another can. You are amazing truely you are you just gotta see that for yourself you dont need a man for that you need you.
Trust believe love you the rest im certain will follow.

[Anonymous]

Yes I can relate when I was in my 1st long term abusive relationship I felt so lonely (I also expressed to my then partner how jealous I was of happy couples and how much I wanted that)and I was taken advantage of a lot on drinking nights out, my so called friend ‘ex friend’ wanted us to break up (not because she cared but because she was single and wanted me to be too and also went around telling men I was single.At the time I just couldn’t get out but I was so sad and lonely (which didn’t make sense to me cos I with someone?) so yeah it’s human nature that your feeling this way, your having the feelings of someone single but your still trapped with someone else (I don’t know those reasons fear guilt obligation,other) it’s entirely normal for your situation, I never want to feel that way again, ❤️🧡💛

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