Despite the pain and stress I’m carrying on as normal

[Freedomfighter]

Sorry just need to vent somewhere safe. I have two types of arthritis, mental health issues (currently off work with stress) He’s got a cold or tummy bug so is off too. He’s spent the last two days lying on the sofa moaning about how he’s fed up of feeling ill and has so much to do. While I’ve been trying to keep appointments with WA, GP, solicitor and dentist (who extracted a tooth) cooking meals, cleaning, painting and trying to get the place sorted for Christmas. I just have to keep taking my painkillers and meds from GP to keep me from having another meltdown. I want to scream! He’s driving me crazy, and I think he’s putting on his illness because today it’s snowing and guess what he’s been out there driving, shovelling snow etc going to people’s homes or phoning and asking if they want him to pick things up etc. He’s in his element. Of course by the time he gets back he’ll be exhausted and wanting me to make him a nice hot meal, while he cracks open a bottle of wine! I’m currently planning to leave so trying not to rock the boat because I think he knows something’s up. I told him 2 months ago I was leaving if he didn’t stop lying and hiding money and treating me like dirt. He denies any wrongdoing naturally, but is making an attempt to be nice. This is why I don’t want to cause a row. According to him the only thing wrong with our marriage is me and my paranoid brain! So yes I think he was faking his illness to keep an eye on me. I have been off work for nearly (detail removed by moderator) and he’s only worked one day during that time. Am I paranoid? Hard to say when he’s lying all the time.
Feel better now, I can go and do a bit more work

[Dragonfly]

Hey

It’s good to vent 🙂

I can imagine how irritating and difficult it must be for you right now. You’re doing the right thing btw by keeping everything ‘normal’ before you break free.
He probably does think something’s up and actually he’s the paranoid one.

If you possibly can try take some time for yourself (I know, unlikely) but remember who you are.

Keep posting, it helps x

[Freedomfighter]

Thanks Dragonfly,
It’s very frustrating, sometimes I think I should just pack up and leave and find out about any help after. Knowing my luck I wouldn’t be eligible for anything and find myself in a right pickle and having panic attacks etc. The solicitor fees are scary to start with. She said I might be eligible for legal aid because I don’t earn much, but don’t know yet. Need to go in and see them next week. Seems so surreal cleaning, tidying and painting ready to put Christmas secs up when I doing all this research and planning and counselling to keep my brain from derailing again. I’m a terrible liar and he keeps questioning me about where I’m going or been. Telling me he feels really ill, but then disappears out for hours. He’s always done it. I don’t even bother asking where he’s going, don’t particularly want to know and it’ll probably be a lie anyway. Double standards he can do what he likes, but I have to tell him everything: when, where, who with, why etc. Never mind only a couple more months and the house is getting sorted out in the process. I’m able to sort my things out and put them to one side without raising any suspicion. At least that’s the plan. Very sneaky I know, but I’ve tried the open approach before- not recommended. Quietly whilst he’s away (detail removed by Moderator), that’s my plan a whole week to move and hassle free, no rowing or name-calling, yelling abuse or anything. Just hope it works!!!

[StillinIT]

Hi, I know its been a while since you posted here, but I’ve just read your posts and wondering how you are doing.
I am new to this site, and still I it, long term marriage.
Would be nice to hear from someone.

[Kessy]

You are really powerful! When I faced severe stress I couldn’t deal with it on my own. I visited a psychologist. It wasn’t that effective. After reading an article on how (detail removed by moderator) is being made (detail removed by moderator) I decided to try it. And ultimately it helped me.

[Author]

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