Developed aggrophobia?

[ocean20]

Hi everyone x

I hate to use buzz words and I am well aware aggrophobia is a serious illness, but I’ve never seen it spoken about on here before.

The abuse I have suffered and still suffer from my SO I fear has turned me into a bit of an aggrophobic, has anyone else experienced this?

Now I don’t just mean scared to leave the house to meet friends because of jealousy / arguments, I mean severe anxiety about going anywhere that’s not your usual places.
He tracks my phone and I have become so anxious about going anywhere different or doing anything nice for myself for fear he will accuse me of something and use that as an excuse to abuse.
Or if he’s mad at me or in a mood for some unknown reason I won’t leave the house at all all day, because I don’t want to make him mad that I’m seemingly going about my day when he’s upset about something and spark a fight.
I know all of that is just centred around upsetting him, but I just generally feel so stuck. That I can’t leave the house or do anything for myself until I am free. And it’s given me severe anxiety about going anywhere. Maybe it’s because I feel so watched as my phone is tracked. I dont know. Or maybe because his moods are so unpredictable I am scared he might come back see I’m miles away and know he has time to trash the house or take the dog.
I also hate him and his kids being here or just his kids being here when I’m not home. I feel my home has been taken over and it’s not mine anymore. And not being here when they’re all here makes me feel uneasy. Especially as they don’t look after the place and I’m constantly cleaning up after them all (it’s my home).

So when they’re here I just stay in, all the time, because I don’t want to leave my home to them. And they never go out he just lets them lay around all day. So I am stuck in the house too. When they finally go I am busy cleaning up after them and then I want to enjoy my house to myself while I can.

I feel like a forced recluse I hate it.
In know it’s no good for my mental health I just feel too on edge to leave the house.

[Lisa]

Hi Ocean20,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like he has made it difficult for you to go out and be able to relax, to feel safe when you are out, he has made you feel scared about the repurcussions, what mood he will be in. part of domestic abuse is isolating you and can understand this must feel really suffocating for you.

do keep reaching out for support- the forum is here for you

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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