I’ve had a bad evening and a lot of things bringing back bad memories. Its made me think did he actually ever even love me? Did he just use me the whole relationship? Hes the only man ive ever loved so everything i felt and everything i did was genuine. But i guess theres was fake? A show perhaps. Kind of a hard pill to swallow.
I think their kind of love is about ownership and control and possession and how you make them feel. About getting their needs met and selfishness. They love that feeling of power but because they are so insecure and damaged, the relationship is always doomed from the beginning. Love doesn’t harm us, love doesn’t control and damage us, love wants us to thrive and be free to choose. My ex when he was trying to make me jealous told me ‘someone else is interested in me’. Always made me think that I would have said I’m interested in someone else. They crave that adoration. I’m lucky I have the ability to love unconditionally. These men will never feel that. Those memories and feelings are yours to keep. I will be very careful next time to choose someone worthy of my love x