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I’ve had a couple of difficult weeks, my workload increased drastically, I lost someone dear to me (detail removed by moderator) and my abusive ex got a new gf. and I want to scream NOoooo you can’t have him he’s mine.
My mind is exploding, my nerves are tense and stretched to the max, it’s been too much. Why is everything happening all at the same time? Today I miss my second abuser so, I used to turn to him when my life is shaking too much. My heart is breaking for he is no longer a reliable source of comfort. I loved him so. 💔I try to keep things simple to be able to handle it all. To start with I’ve turned down the offer to continue working with the day care, I’ll finish my internship until summer and that’s that. I’ll return to a normal office job. I can’t handle a career change, what was I thinking 🙈
I’m mourning the death of my friend, it’s leaving me exhausted, it’s been so sudden, the effect is as if the sun has been taken away from the sky in broad day light.
I will have to get over the fact my abusive ex got someone new, it had to happen one day right 😪 the upside is that my girls got one more kind woman looking after them now instead of or on top of their nanny.Taking in deep breaths, listening to music to soothe me. It will be fine. Everything will be fine.
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Hi there Hopelifejoy,
It’s understandable why you’re feeling so low; you’re going through a grieving process. I’m sorry to hear that this is happening for you- it’s so difficult. Just try to take everything one step at a time- you don’t have to make any decisions while you’re feeling like this. Give yourself time to grieve and process everything.
Just focus on looking after yourself in the next few weeks- remember there’s the Samaritans if you ever need to talk,
Take care- keep reaching out for support,
Lisa
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HlJ you are such a sweet 💖 life can be tough so so harsh. You feel deeply when you feel you really feel. I’m the same so when we hurt god we hurt. You sound like you have this in hand tho 💪❤️Take some pressure off yourself work wise. Cry 😭
I lost a lovely friend and colleague of mine – I cried for weeks xx crying is so therapeutic. We’re here for you 💕your strong you’ve pulled through such a lot and you will again. As for thinking of past abusers for comfort trauma bonds run deep and they surface when we’re up set remember that’s what this is nothing more hun xx take care 🤗hugs love diymum x -
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Hi HLJ,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having such a horrible time at the moment.
Just let the emotions wash over you and remember this too will pass ♥️ 🙏🏼
Go stand in an big field and scream it all out….all the grief, the sadness, the injustice and anger. Then put on your favourite empowering songs and sing your heart out.
Sending you so much love and hugs ♥️♥️🙏🏼
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I am feeling a little better girls, I am able to breathe again today.
I went down a deep depressive hole during this past week , i had the week off, I can’t thank you enough for your support, it kept me afloat, time seemed to slow down massively, I kept telling myself to take care of myself, eat, shower, not taking any impulsive decisions, to go imagining myself screaming into that field, not contacting either of my abusers, to be kind to myself, soothing myself with music. It’s been pure hell tbh, heart broken, crying sobbing, I thought I am going crazy, I don’t think I ever had such hard time since a very very long time. I am still unsure if I am not heading towards a collapse or burnout.
I took some anti-anxiety pills some evenings to help me sleep. It does help me relax, obviously I needed it.
I am more exhausted than usual and still physically quite tense but not so down anymore.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and guidance. Love you all. 💕🌸
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