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    • #5884
      Doglover99
      Participant

      Hi everyone. As some of you will remember, I’ve been trying to find a house for my son and I for months and the situation is still the same. My gut feeling is to continue bidding for the social housing because there is a chance that I may get something in the coming weeks if I can get past Xmas and New Year. I’m worried about the private rental due to finances and the lack of long term security in a privately rented house. Things are calm at home for the time being but the counsellors I’ve met with say my son is suffering and depressed and the sooner we get out the better which I’m well aware of. I’m at home whenever he is so he’s not left on his own with my husband (his stepdad).

      However, I have a dilemma about Xmas holidays. My husband has booked us to be away for a week through Xmas when my son would need to go to his dad’s which he absolutely hates and I know he will refuse to go or go and then walk out halfway through the week with nowhere to stay. I don’t want to go away at all but I know full well that if I say I don’t want to go all hell will break loose and we’ll all suffer. I’ve tried thinking all sorts of excuses why I couldn’t go but nothing is very believable. How should I approach this? Xmas is fast approaching and I need to find a way of not going away.

      So far I’ve managed to act reasonably normal whilst making plans to leave but things are coming to a head soon. A part of me wants this over and done with, tell him I want out and take whatever consequences might follow.

      I can’t even believe that Xmas is approaching. I usually absolutely love it but this year I just can’t get excited about any of it. I’m frustrated, stuck and getting depressed with the whole situation because it’s dragging on and on.

      What would you do with this stupid holiday? How do I get out of it?

    • #5891
      Herindoors
      Participant

      Hi Doglover.
      You have a choice to either start what you know will probably be the end of the relationship or do what we have all done for years and go ahead with the trip and try and make it a nice Christmas. But you know your son will not react well to it and you are likely to end up worrying about him. Not trying to guilt trip you in anyway – I do understand the complications x
      I had a similar situation last Christmas although not so extreme. I was borderline about to say I wanted the marriage to end and so trying to play happy families was torture. So we would have spats and I would use that as an excuse not to go to events etc… The tension built up and up and eventually lead to the violent incident that split us up for good.
      If you are seriously considering telling him then firstly you must be safe so only do it as part of a safe plan you have already organised with a DV worker. Otherwise you might find yourself like me, in a very frightening situation which is out of control. Like me you know that if you say ‘it’ there are going to be consequences and that’s really scary to face – so get your support lined up first.
      Take care x*x

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