- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by
Sunflowersandstars.
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19th August 2018 at 6:14 pm #62911
iwillbeok
ParticipantHi,
I feel today like I want to get a rubbish skip and empty the whole house into it! Everything has a memory of him attached to it. I am storing stuff just in case he asks for it in the divorce – if he asks for it he can have it, if he’s forgotten about it it’ll go to the tip! Feeling quite petty about that.
Then there’s larger stuff that I want to get rid of – but I still have the fear of not having his permission; of not offering it to him first etc. After an awfully long marriage is there really such a thing as his vs mine. And if it’s ‘ours’, does that mean I have to give him half if I sell it, but what if I’m replacing something? Arghh! I’m going round and round in circles!
This is because it’s not really the stuff that is causing me issues – its the ridiculously long time its taking the courts to grant the divorce, its not wanting to make contact to tell him to come get stuff. It’s thinking that he may have gone away with a new partner – no evidence just a slight gut feeling. Its thinking about him at all! So fed up with this thinking/healing/processing s**t! I just want it all to be over and to move on. I feel like I’m treading water. Like everything is just over the horizon and I can’t get there. Always just out of reach. Do I really have to feel ‘on hold’ until its all over?
Sorry, this actually started out as a question and turned into a rant! Could I argue that it has been x amount of time and he hasn’t asked for any items (he knows how to get in touch via my lawyer or 3rd party) that he can be considered to have given up any claim to them? I bet its not that simple…
iwillbeok x
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19th August 2018 at 6:22 pm #62912
KIP.
ParticipantThis caused me so much anguish for over two years. His stuff deliberately left and the lawyers telling me not to dump it at his new address etc. If I was you I’d pack everying up you don’t want. Including his stuff. If you have a shed then store it in there. That’s what I did and it stayed there because he wouldn’t come for it. That was a ploy on his part to keep a hook in. If I had my time again I would get a man and van and dump everything that belonged to him or I didn’t want and dump it right at his door. In the end my solicitor told him his stuff was getting dumped at his new girlfriends door that night after he once again failed to get someone to turn up to collect things which was arranged via solicitors. So relatives of mine dumped it all at her door. I should have done that day one.
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20th August 2018 at 12:04 pm #62949
Sunflowersandstars
ParticipantFrom my point of view I left and he refused to give me my belongings including things like my birth certificate so I contacted police who escorted me but couldn’t do anything and when he wouldn’t let me enter the property for my things they told me there is nothing I can do about it other than go to a lawyer but that he will just say he’s got rid of it all. So I would say you would be fine to toss it all if you don’t want it.
SaS
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