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    • #30466
      Herindoors
      Participant

      So finally I feel strong enough after a considerable time out to start divorce proceedings. I have prioritised sorting out other things in mine and my childs life and it is now time. I feel no sadness, i can’t wait to be legally free from him. However I am concerned that starting this process will bring stress and heartache, I guess there is no getting away from that. Have been no contact for most of the time since the split and it has been bliss.
      I am lucky in many respects. Due to his refusal to ever hold down a job we have very few assets to split (strange how he has held down a job since we split!) and our child is now adult age.
      My fear is that he will refuse to agree unless I attend mediation which I will never do. Apart from not wanting to be in the same room as him we have almost nothing to mediate about! However that defence just fell on deaf ears in the early days when I wanted a divorce immediatly.
      I might just have to wait the 5 years but I would really love to be free of him before that.
      This process should be easier in cases like ours 🙁

    • #30471
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there. When I told my lawyer that my ex wouldn’t agree to a divorce she told me it’s not upto him. Just remember that. It’s your life now. Your decisions. I’m divorced in my head which is where it counts and he doesn’t deserve to be married to me or be in my life. I have too much respect for myself now. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Get good legal advice and let the lawyer deal with him.

    • #30472
      KIP.
      Participant

      I’m in the middle of the divorce. I’m correcting a mistake I made years ago👍

    • #30475
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey Hun

      Kip is right, its not his choice its yours, yes it will cause heart ache to u , but u will also get closure and the less to sort out the better for u , im doing a countdown till myy divorcvce is complete, yes it hurts that we loved them so much and this is what we got in return ,but think of all the positive things that u have yet to look forward, lets just supoort each another as ladies on here and we will get through this

    • #30483

      Hi there. In English law if one person wants a divorce thats what will happen. You make sure you see a Solicitor asap so that you are the Petitioner as that will mean you’re the leader in this he will try to control this but you remember you are divorcing him not the other way round. I am at the very last stages of my divorce and he never ever thought that I would have the strength to do this. But, I used a Solicitor I know personally who is very reputable and specialises in Domestic Violence and that is what you need to find. He thought he waa clever in the way that he dealed with things but everything has worked totally against him and Ive shown him I’m boss!!!! These (detail removed by Moderator) don’t listen to anyone so what they do is dig a hole for themselves whilst I’ve listened to the expert and done exactly as she advised. These men have such low IQS they eeally are literally atupid. Divorcing him was yhe best decision I made. Originally, I made an appointment with my Solicitor a month after I left him but I postponed the appointment until I was emotionally ready which was literally a month afterwards lol. I went completely silent no contact then boom he gets a letter telling uim I’m divorcing him. He now understands what I was doing whilst I was silent lol it’s great yo know I was the one manipulating him but not in a bad way my silence spoke volumes and I didn’t talk the talk I walked the walk and showed him actions speak louder than words. I would say do the same. Get that appointment in ehen you feel ready, prepare yourself for his manipulative behaviour, stick to what you want and what’s important to you and get a reputable Solicitor who specialises in Domestic Violence xxxx

    • #30511
      Herindoors
      Participant

      Thanks all. I have found someone who says she knows about DV but will see on (detail removed by Moderator) how much she really understands. I am looking forward to starting the process and dreading it at the same time. Will be having a divorce party when it finally comes through 🙂

    • #30600

      Haha I said the exact same thing about the divorce party lol. I will be honest it is not the easiest thing to go through it’s horrendous but the end result is sooo worth it. Once you have made that first step everything else gets better. I’m glad you found someone who understands Domestic Violence well done I am very proud of you for taking this step. You are doing the right thing without a doubt. Keep posting we are here for you through it xxxx

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