This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Sponge02 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

  • Author
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  • #114765
     Sponge02 
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I just joined the forum. I found myself in a very difficult situation. I have to fail for divorce even though I did not marry my ex (detail removed by moderator). We lived together for (detail removed by moderator) however most of that time it was constant abuse and fight. After (detail removed by moderator) I have realised that he only used me to settle his immigration matter in the U.K. Took me (detail removed by moderator) to start believing in myself and leave the flat we were renting together. I now live alone in another city for more than (detail removed by moderator). I want to divorce him but don’t know where he lives and I’m scared court will not let me free myself from him. I was recently contacted by him and he asked for docs such as prove of address, P60 etc telling me that solicitor needs this for divorce but looks like he wants to (detail removed by moderator) and secure his stay here without even my consent. I’m scared of him. Scared to make a move and pay for solicitor and not ready for his manipulations again. Does anyone know if I can get a divorce not knowing where he is?

  • #114768
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi there. Please contact your local women’s aid or ring Rights of Women for free legal advice, most solicitors offer free initial advice. There are lots of ways to find him and I’ve heard that divorce papers can be sent via internet so keep any email, Facebook screenshots etc phone numbers. If he’s in touch with immigration then they will have his contact details too. Good legal advice is needed so try to source that first. You might also talk to your local domestic abuse police unit. They can help you with a Marker on your home and phone so that if you need help you’re a priority. Gather a good support network round you, if you’re scared of him then it’s for a reason so don’t ever meet up with him alone. If you start divorce proceedings your solicitor will find him. You may quality for legal aid if you’ve been a victim of domestic abuse, again, ask your local women’s aid or ring the national domestic abuse helpline x

  • #114788
     Sponge02 
    Participant

    Hi KIP., thanks for your message and all advice. I called all possible organisations and unfortunately they said they can’t help as I don’t classify as being in immediate danger, also went to the police station and what they said just made me cry straight away. I was taken as a “problem making” and told that if he didn’t tell me that will kill me then he didn’t do any wrong and they didn’t want to even listen about psychological abuse. I choosed Silicitor and will be starting the process in (detail removed by moderator), just need to save some money first. I’m extremely scared.

  • #114789
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I know how scared you are and it’s very brave to have anything to do with these men. Contact is toxic to us. Make sure your solicitor knows all the facts as his marriage to you may be what’s keeping him in this country. You might want to inform immigration yourself too. That you’re filing for divorce from him. So sorry too about the police. They should really know better. Always ask for domestic abuse unit if you need to speak to them again and if you’re ever scared he’s about then ring 999 immediately. You know this man the best x perhaps you could keep in touch with your local women’s aid for emotional support and advice x

  • #114819
     Sponge02 
    Participant

    KIP. I’m not sure if contacting immigration will help, apparently the law is not the same for U.K. citizens and EU who support their partners, but I’m gonna try.
    I contacted my local women’s aid and they said they can’t help as I’m in in immediate danger 🙁
    Looks like I’ll have to deal with everything alone.

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