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    • #46199
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      I’ve just spent the last two hours compiling an email to my lawyer. I was prompted by the slander from my husband. He’s now saying I assaulted his daughter! I most certainly did not. He was the only one throwing his fists around, mainly at my face! I’ve now had to go into much more detail with my solicitor than was originally planned. Hey, my ex and I had a verbal agreement, now we don’t apparently and verbal agreements count for nothing anyway! So since he’s now clutching at straws he come up with this fantastical idea that I assaulted his child. It’s absolute b****x!

      I’ve really had enough now and I am going to go buy a bottle of wine and drink the whole thing. Please don’t tell me not to, I have to. I’ve seriously had enough of two abusive men. One of them (husband) is trying to skin me alive with his greedy money demands, lying about debts and hiding assets. I can’t cope. Tears now, seriously can’t cope. Had ENOUGH!!!!!

    • #46200
      KIP.
      Participant

      You are not alone. My ex did exactly the same thing in my divorce. Don’t waste your money on anything that doesn’t directly affect the legal side of things. It’s not worth the paper it’s written on and will cost you a fortune. It’s called mirroring. He was violent so he says you were. He financially abused you and he says you financially abused him. He stole and hid money so you stole and hid money. They actually draw attention to their own abusive traits and illegal moves. Pathetic really. Try to take a step back and look at it through impartial eyes if you can. Separate emotions and you will clearly see the dysfunction. Their story changes with every letter. They tell so many lies they can’t keep up. Pit the papers away till you’re ready to deal with them x don’t be rushed into anything. Wait till you’re in the right frame of mind x

    • #46213
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      You’re absolutely correct Kip. And he was hammering on my door the other night shouting through the letter box. I had my friend in but I didn’t answer the door. I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell him I will not speak to him face to face or if I just continue to ignore him. Just wish this was all over.

    • #46227
      KIP.
      Participant

      If I were you I would tell him you do not wish to talk to him and if he comes round again you will ring the police. There’s no point. You’ve tried talking. My ex actually shook my hand on our verbal agreement. I believed him but it meant nothing. Just more lies. Designed to stall.

    • #46252
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      I wasn’t sure how to do the no contact thing. It was easy with the one who was charged with assaulting me. He just vanished. The husband tho lives around the corner, we have a child. I think I’ll just text him saying contact me through your lawyer unless it’s an emergency about our son. Do you think that’s ok?

      He’s spent the last few months sending my calls to voicemail (apparently it only happens With my number lol). Then I’m supposed to jump when he says so. Ain’t gonna happen. He says he doesn’t use either of his email addresses,he doesn’t have a number at work and the school can’t contact him either.

      But we do have a child and are getting divorced so I have to keep some method of communication.

    • #46256
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun

      I would say keep all contact via solicitors and only to text u if its an emergency regargding children and maybe use a communciation book for when children are staying with him. You have to be clear with them on the terms and conditions otherwise they will phone or message daily to ask about children and expect a reply. If he turnss up at your door, just ignore him totally and call police if he get aggressive , u can also issue a non mol where he only contacts regarding children

    • #46344
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Thanks. I’m considering CCTV. unsure of the cost but I quickly realised with abuse you need hard evidence. I know he’s behaving like this because I’ve upset him by refusing to fund his retirement. Yeah, he really is something else

    • #46345
      KIP.
      Participant

      If your friend witnessed him shouting through your letterbox you may already have enough evidence for a non molestation order. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice. Do not believe a word he says x

    • #46357
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Yes. We were both in, sitting in silence listening to him shouting and banging. Then a few night later I was in bed sleeping and the buzzer at the front door was held down for a good minute. I know it was him.

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