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    • #115365
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Do they all have wonderful ideas when things are good? When mine is in a good mood he can have very thoughtful, lovely ideas for both me and himself. Most he doesn’t act on! 🙄 but I was just wondering if anyone else notices this?

      This is part of the problem for me because it is very genuine such as encouraging me to further my career or try something new etc. Then when things are bad he might say something mean or belittling about my job.

    • #115366
      KIP.
      Participant

      They’re never consistent and that’s confusing. My ex used to call me a benefits scrounger then say I was too ill to work and couldn’t hold down a job. Only act on what they actually do because they talk a good talk. Verbal salad. Encouraging you to further your career or try something new is simply what happens in a loving relationship. He doesn’t get any credit for that. That’s what most decent human beings to. It’s the other part you need to listen to. The real nasty part that keeps you down. The horrible part you bury and forgive and hope will stop.

      • #115377
        gettingtired
        Participant

        You’re right KIP. My problem is I cling on to all the nicey nicey, kind moments. Sad how we view things that are the norm in ‘normal’ relationships ships as something very special and to be grateful for. Wish I could switch my brain off!! x

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