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Can someone advise me on what happens when you contact the police for emotional abuse? I feel like what I am going through needs to be reported and dealt with but I’m nervous about reporting it. I feel like the police don’t take emotional abuse as serious as physical abuse, and I’m scared that I would be wasting their time and end up back where I started. I feel the need to point out that I have a mental illness, which has been made worse by the emotional abuse if this helps.
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I called 101, and spoke to someone on the phone, they were very helpful and understanding. They made an appointment to come out to see me at home. I got a call back from a different person to give me a number to call for victim support, who were also really good. The police sat and talked to me and took notes etc and explained to me what the options were and what would happen next. They called back to check I was ok and to keep me informed throughout the process. I was really worried and unsure like you, but had a friend who had been through the situation herself and she helped me make the decision to involve the police. That first phonecall is definitely the hardest. You will be taken seriously and we are all here for you as well. Any kind of abuse is wrong and you deserve for it to stop x
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i am sorry but in my personal experience you will get more grief if you make a police report for emotional abuse. i have been utterly disbelieved, and I’ve had them treat me as if I am the one with issues, and I’ve had police sympathise with my ex, unbelievably… 🙁 They minimise it. They ask you 28 questions about your own self and risk to self. in the end, they cant do much at all if he’s “just” being emotionally abusive least if he’s not threatening you with harm. if anyone has advised you on here that police will rush to help you and stop him abusing you emotionally, sorry, but this just isn’t the case in my experience, and in the experience of too many women I’ve spoken with at the Freedom Programmes and other groups I’ve attended. particularly if you tell them YOU have a mental health issue – they will possibly write you off as “mental” and when they talk to him, so will he… so it may just say on the log “woman has mental health issues” without anything about his abuse. if you do report it, go with someone you trust and make sure they “hear” you and be prepared to give them examples of his abuse and dates if you have it – police like evidence, without it, they can’t do much – and yes, emotional abuse is often impossible to prove, i dont’ care what new “laws” are out there I have yet to see them put into practice we have a long way to go and often it seems we are regressing as a society x
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forgot to point out that if you phone 101 and report abuse by your ex, with some police there is in fact an obligation to meet with them, either at your home or at the station. no, you dont have to take it further than meeting with them (eg in the rather rare event they have “enough” to issue him with a caution or other warning), but if you contact them and report abuse, it’s an incident and they will have to speak with you in person… if you are not ready to speak to them in person then just ask to get anonymous advice if they can do that for you
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You can make conplaints about him. Givr factual accounts of your experiencesof his abuse avoid passing comment on himjust literally list the facts . A complaint can be put into a PIN which can be issued to him and can then be used legally in the case of any further instances of EA towards you by him.
I was too scared that this would make him angry and worsen our situation but if you can be sure of being safe whilst somethibg like this is done it will carry your case further in evidence terms.
Warmest wishes. Ks x
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Gutted to hear of your experience danicali. You’re one of very many who have experienced this reaction and how it aggravates an already very wobbly self belief and confidence and can rob you of any strength to act to move forward ib your life.
I am willing you every strength on your own recovery and I think its awesome that you speak out so clearly about bad practice by professionals
Warmest wishes ks x
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