Do we dig it up, or do we let it lie?

[Alicenotichains]

Hello wonderful people… just after some opinions… I have been divorced from my abuser for many years. I am happily remarried and life is good. I do not want anything to do with my ex.  My life has been transformed (thanks to this forum) My  adult children are having counselling and this has brought up what happened in the past. Things have come out which are very disturbing. This prompted me to reach out to other survivors of my ex-husband on social media and we have shared our experiences with each other. Many of us have been drugged by this man and abused in many forms. Our children were also abused.
He is still out there, moving from woman to woman, some of these women are mothers. He has moved areas now, but I feel guilty because I know how he will be treating his current partner and her children. He is so dangerous and dark, I feel I need to go to the police with the other women and try and stop him. But that brings him back into my life, and I have worked so hard to be free. I might do a Crimestoppers report as that is anonymous, so that they can welfare check the family he is living with right now. If we went to the police, as a group of women who have been abused by the same man over the last few decades, what chances to we have or making historical allegations of abuse stick? Or should we just leave it lie. None of us need any more trauma, but the injustice of it all, frustrates me. He should be jailed for life for what he has done.

[Lisa]

Hi Alicenotichains,

Thank you for sharing with us. Understandably this is a very difficult decision for you to make, and the injustice of his abusive behaviour without consequences. You may find it helpful to reach out to Rights of Women to find out your options, rights and the process of reporting historical abuse. Rights of Women can be found here.

I wish you the best of luck with however you choose to proceed.

Take care,

Lisa

[Author]

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