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    • #124751
      Sleepypigeon
      Participant

      Iv been feeling really low over the past week or so probably due to being of work and various anniversaries at this time of year. I decided to go to the doctor to talk about me “getting out”. The doc who is usually very good and helpful was flippant in his treatment of me. He offered me antidepressants which I didn’t really want to take as previously they have not helped. As I explained my situation his first comment was  (detail removed by moderator) I was appalled at his comments, even though he said them in a jokey way. (Detail removed by moderator), I fell for him (and previous) because of how they portrayed themselves, they lied and made me believe they were someone they were not. He then agreed and (detail removed by moderator). I left feeling speechless at his response and the offhand way he had treated me. I thought the GP was supposed to be supportive?

    • #124753
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Oh my goodness. Sleepypigeon, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been treated like this.

      If you have the motivation, it might be worth talking to the practice manager. It sounds like the GP was completely out of his depth with this and could do with some training.

      I know it’s been a really difficult time for you and you really do need some support at the moment.

      I’m just wondering if you ever had any bereavement counselling?

      • #124757
        Sleepypigeon
        Participant

        Iv been on the website as I wasn’t sure who the practice manager was or if there was one as was only aware of Dr’s nurses and those on reception who are not the friendliest (not all of them). I don’t recognise the name,or how you would contact them. My main reason for today’s visit was, to speak to the doc regarding recent ex and to get a referral for a Councillor I spoke to before, who was helpful, so hopefully he’s done this at least, although I know the waiting list will be long. I don’t have much faith in my surgery, the Dr’s have changed frequently and the other local surgery is not taking new patients so I’m stuck where I am. This doc has previously been kind and helpful so today’s visit did upset me with his response.

    • #124758
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I’m not surprised it upset you. I sounds awful. If you ring the surgery they should be able to tell you how to get in touch with the practice manager.

      I hope you hear about your counselling soon. Have you had chance to try any strategies to help lift you a little?

    • #124760
      Sleepypigeon
      Participant

      I’m open to suggestions as I hate feeling like this. Sleep isn’t great just now so been trying meditation podcasts but they don’t always help.
      Took me a while to get to doc today as putting it of so the thought of phoning bac and getting an unfriendly receptionist does not fill me with joy. Sorry don’t mean to sound all doom and gloom, wish I could shake this feeling of. I just want to get me back 😪

    • #124762
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Yes, I totally understand that. TBH sorting out the GP is not a priority now.

      Getting your spirits up is though. The ladies on the forum have loads of ideas which I hope they will share.

      My coping strategies are:

      Music, the ladies on the forum helped me put together a really empowering playlist – it never fails me,
      Exercise, a 20 minute walk in a natural or beautiful place every day.
      Treat yourself every day. It can be something as simple as getting a posh cup out, wrapping up warm and sitting in the garden with your posh cup of tea and the sole purpose of listening to the birds.
      Skype the people you care about and relive the good times you’ve had with them.

      Sleep = hot shower, eat a banana, drink Heath and Heather bedtime tea, burn lavender oil whilst you read a good book, pillow mist, a natural dusk light that dims down as you read and of course don’t go on your screens for at least an hour before bedtime (hmm. Failed on that score tonight!)

      Take care.

    • #124773
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Sleepypigeon

      I am really sorry to hear about the unhelpful response you got from your GP, it’s really disappointing. You did the right thing by opening up though, and it took a lot of courage to make that appointment.

      I would hope that most GP’s would give a really supportive response, seeing your GP is a good starting point to anyone who needs some support. I would expect a GP to be understanding, empathetic and able to give you some options. I hope that referral to the counsellor who was helpful in the past was done, your local domestic abuse service may do counselling too.

      Take care and keep posting,

      Lisa

    • #124776
      ISOPeace
      Participant

      Hi there, I’m really saddened and disappointed to here what happened with your GP. As the moderator has had to remove bits, I don’t know the details, but making it sounds like he was very dismissive and disrespectful. I was really lucky that the GP I spoke to (who I already knew to be kind) was really supportive and signposted me to women’s aid and other services and we talked about what support I had etc. I would expect that response to be standard. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask, particularly now that domestic abuse is known to be very common. It’s bad enough to have a dismissive response from a doctor in any situation, but when it’s something as emotive and sensitive as domestic abuse, I’m sure it can be crushing.

      This type of response reflect ignorance and lack of empathy. Who knows, maybe that doctor has experienced or perpetrated abuse and can’t bear to face the reality of it. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way and thankfully there are doctors out there who are helpful and supportive.

      If you feel you can, maybe you could complain the the practice manager. Or even write them an email/letter so you don’t feel so on the spot. Hopefully it will result in some change at your surgery. xxxxx

      • #124843
        Sleepypigeon
        Participant

        He never asked if I had any support,( I have spoken with WA), I never told him this due to his response. I’m still shocked by it tbh. I would have thought it was a “safe space” and with so much about domestic abuse I expected a better response. I’m glad you had a more sympathetic doc, im sure there not all like mine.
        I do feel that I should complain to the practice but right now don’t feel like I can, why is everything a battle when your in this situation? Feel like I’m constantly fighting, to get through everyday

    • #124867
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi beautiful Angel,
      I am saddened to hear about your experience with the GP. Unfortunately I had no support from my GP either. I guess it really is a lottery which doctor you get, this isn’t right but unfortunately true.
      If I’m honest I didn’t get much support from anyone … which I don’t usually like to post as I don’t want to put anyone off seeking help. But I wanted you to know that I hear you and understand how you feel.
      I know a lot of ladies, many of them on here have got help and support from outside sources so please anyone reading this don’t give up trying.
      What this did for me though was made me realise that the only person who could truly help me, was me. It gave me power and motivation to save myself, so I hope it gives you the same strength.
      I recommend as always reading or listening to Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life. I also think Eggshells has given you some great self help tips to.
      Remember you are not alone, we are all hear for you
      Sending you continued love and support
      Darcy xx

      • #124872
        Sleepypigeon
        Participant

        Hi Darcy, thanks for your kind words and I’m so sorry you did not find support when you needed it.
        I certainly don’t want to put anyone of going to their doc,that’s not my intention, I was just venting as I was just hurt at his response. I have been supported by a WA lady who has been lovely and understanding. Iv Just been really up and down lately and that’s why I went to the doc.
        I’m usually quite a independent and determined person (that part of me has been suppressed for a while) but I know what you mean, it’s do or die, we have to keep fighting our own battles and rely on ourselves in the end, only we can get through and overcome this. Deep down I know this, sometimes I just need reminded, plus i could really do with a hug!
        I hope no-one is put of by my experience, I would hope the majority of docs etc will be supportive its just the few that may not.
        Thanks for your support I really appreciate you and all the ladies on here x

    • #124923
      Darcy
      Participant

      We can’t be strong all the time and I know what you mean about a hug … it has been a long year not being able to hug our friends and family.
      Don’t be hard on yourself when you are feeling a little up and down … we all experience that. At these times be your own best friend and ask yourself what do I really need right now… sometimes that’s just a cuppa and a cake … sometimes its a nap or sometimes its to dance to our favourite song.
      And don’t forget to see how far you have come and credit yourself for how strong you are… you are amazing
      D xx

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