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    • #19779

      I’ve asked myself a few times if my ex has heard of Womens Aid and has logged onto the forum, pretending to be a woman. What I write on here sometimes is so specific i worry that it would be quite easy to identify somebody just from what they write. I know the moderator edits things, maybe i’m just paranoid. Unless he but some sort of bug on my PC I can’t tell how it would occur to him to log onto here.

    • #19782

      I do not care. I am sure some sick people read what we write. Let them read it. Hopefully it causes them high blood pressure and arrhythmias.

    • #19783

      Yes, I, m not too worried, it would not stop me from moving on, though he would find out about my heart break which would give him the upper hand 😡

    • #19785

      Yes and no. Yes: he might consider reading it and no: after reading a few posts he will be confronted with examples of his own nastiness from different users that he will run away and hide never to return again.

      My abusive husband is intelligent but mostly too lazy and insecure to use it. Most things have to be handed to him on a plate.

    • #19792

      Dear (detail removed by moderator), i can’t help thinking that it is so important to be yourself to express what you think and feel and get it off your chest, this is so important for your wellbeing. To no longer post I think would be damaging for you. Looking at the likelihood realistically, I don’t know if this forum is just available to one particular country, but there are millions of people in the world our posts could apply to anybody. The only way they would access this forum is if one of us has let slip the words “Womens Aid” into conversation with him or an associate. Then they would have to identify you, by following your posts for a while this could be done if they get the timings of events right, but then there wouldn’t be 100% certainty it was you. I suppose it could be done, the abusers are clever and lie but I think or hope my mind may be running away from me. Or they would need to have placed a bug onto your PC which traces your internet website usage, i dont know how common this is in this country. Or they may be using a woman to log on here and then monitor us. Personally for me, if he is following me on here, i would like to say “(detail removed by Moderator) you psychological headcase” he would access my mind and be aware of my pain but this would not halt my recovery. Sahara, thank you for your comments. My ex is clever, calculated and I suspect psychopathic, I would not put it pass him to stalk me long term. X*X

    • #19813
      Main Moderator


      Thank you for posting about this Healthyarchive. Just to clarify, the Survivors’ Forum is a public forum so anyone can read the posts and the website is accessible from outside of the UK.

      Included under the Survivors’ Forum FAQ’s are some safety guidelines. Please see the link below:

      Cover your tracks online

      I edit and remove identifying information but please be mindful to not include such information or specific detail in posts.

      Best wishes,


    • #19818

      Yes I worry, there are very few places that are secure and safe is someone really wants to snoop on you. Especially on line.
      I am as careful as I can be and even my new partner doesn’t know I am on here, thats the way it will stay.
      Not coming here for advice or to help support in some small way, is for me not an option. I tried it alone for too many years and that really didn’t work for me.

    • #19824

      In my case I do not see him,he has no access to my pc, unless he planted some monitoring device on it last time he was in my house. But I can understand how important it is to take care of your pc usage if the abuser can access your list of website searches.

    • #19837

      We are all behind you in that battle xx

    • #19877

      Keep posting, (detail removed by moderator). If they think it is you, let them read how sick and rotten they are. Keep fighting!
      Complain, complain, complain,… It takes a while before complaints work, but if you complain to a lot of places you will win in the end. x*x

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