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    • #160092

      Or perhaps a sardine? Whilst registering I’ve been reading messages on the forum and hearing echoes, seeing flashbacks and crying buckets…yous are all part of my reality, a reality that should not be. Who wants to feel like we feel? How can another human being behave in the ways we’ve experienced (are experiencing) and well get away with it yes, but more to the point be comfy in their own skin/inner world? It is unreal.
      Currently on my conveyor belt of what I now know to be abuse I’m receiving the ‘silent treatment’ with a heavy dose of not existing and some look how nice I can be to others thrown in for good measure. I too used to think I can ‘fix’ him, but now it has dawned on me I’ve been done up like a kipper…hook line and sinker. I volunteered my love, my time, and the best part of my life to pandering to the needs of a man whose needs can never be met. The constant need for praise, listening to the hundred and one ways others have abused him, how no one recognises his genius, hearing until I’m sick of how others have actively sought to do him down, to his ‘fights’ with every service provider and the numerous letters(now emails) he pens to fix things to his liking. Please. We only have a short time on this Earth why would a body choose, choose to behave in this way?
      I am sick to my stomach, when I eat, I eat quickly to get out of his way, I’ll even apologise. Why does that “sorry” or “have I done something to upset you?” Just flow out of my mouth? It is as if I’m possessed or turning into a zombie.
      I have to say it but it feels wrong I’m glad well not glad more comforted that I am not alone in this although it sure feels that way most of the time. Both my thoughts and feelings are all over the place imagine an insect smattered on the front of a car driving at speed down a motorway. That covers the emotional crush I am under. I’m drowning throw me a life belt universe. Please.

    • #160117

      It would be clever if it wasn’t so cruel wouldn’t it, the way they train & manipulate us. Once you see it you can’t unsee it so focus on what you want the rest of your life to be, and start taking steps towards the light whether that’s staying in the relationship or leaving, you deserve to enjoy life not live in constant anxiety xx

    • #162404

      Done up like a kipper sums it up really dosn’t it. I cannot believe how these people’s brains work or how much effort they must have to put in to pull people in the directions that they want to go. It is so twisted. Hope you are getting on ok now, I see that was July. x

    • #162942

      A man who’s needs can never be met, who is in constant need of praise, who tells you how you have abused him over the years, … It’s a familiar story for many of us, and it feels like there is no way out. We have to find a way to survive this whether we find the courage to leave or whether we find a way to get up and carry on with our lives how they are which requires just as much courage, but remember we are not alone and this is what gives us the strength to continue knowing we will never be alone in this fight. Stay strong

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