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    • #104494
      Canon
      Participant

      It’s been a few years now since I left my abuser. I’ve suffered with ptsd and my depression has been really bad. I feel so low atm and feel like I wish I could shut my eyes and not be here anymore. One of my children speak to me like my ex did – he literally rules this house, threatens his sister and me. Smashes the house up. I call the police each time but it makes no difference. He’s only (removed by moderator) and I’ve done everything I can to explain to all the kids that what happened to us wasn’t ok and why I got rid of my ex. Ex isn’t their dad – their actual dad rarely bothers with them and I’m trying to repair everything but getting no where. I feel like a complete failure and think my kids would be better off without me. I’m
      Thinking of telling their
      Dad that he’s going to have to have them as I can’t do this anymore. My choices have messed them up and they will never forgive me for it. I get spoken to like rubbish every single day. Doesn’t matter what boundaries I put in place – they don’t care, no consequences make any difference- I have and am being consistent all the time but nothing changes, it’s just getting worse.
      I honestly wish I wasn’t here anymore. My whole life has always been one big mess and I couldn’t even get being a parent right

    • #104496
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      Hi Canon,

      I empathise with your situation but please do not feel you have failed as a parent. You have left the man who was abusing you all and that action has helped to protect them.

      Are Children’s Services involved with you and the children at all? Have you asked the Police to refer your son to the Youth Justice Service? There are programmes in place to help support children who are committing crimes to try and get them to understand their behaviour and how it affects others. Your son needs some specialist intervention work now, otherwise he will only get worse. See if you local DA Services have a child support worker who can work with him. Relate also offer a Child Counselling Service.

      Your son may be acting out some of the things he has seen, however, his behaviour is unacceptable and needs to be dealt with. Compassion and understanding for what he may have been exposed to is one thing, but he cannot use that as an excuse to continue this behaviour unchallenged. I understand how exhausting and tiring this must be for you, but your children need you. You are the only constant in their life and if they didn’t have you they would be devastated. Your son is far too young to be Alpha Male in the household. You are the parent and he is the child and he needs to understand this.

      Please have a google of some of the services I have mentioned and see if there are some local to where you are that could help.

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