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    • #144315

      I plan to end it at some point Iv only just really decided I can continue . I’m in emotionally abusive marriage. We have kids so I can’t just leave . I was hoping to get to a point where he says something that will lead into maybe it becoming a mutual decision or his idea to end it . It must be obvious to him that I am not happy yet he is still getting on with (detail removed by moderator) etc that’s costing money and our next big task is coming up so I’m feeling under pressure to end it before then because i think he will be really livid if I wait until (detail removed by moderator). I just havnt felt ready before and even now I’m not 100% certain . I can’t imagine booking a family holiday either . So I’m not sure how to go about it . Do I go to a solicitor first ? I havnt got much from the free half hour consultations, do I tell him it’s over and then stay in the house with him and the kids ? Or leave alone or with kids ? He isn’t physically abusive but I do have some fear about how he will react. I don’t know what I need to have planned

    • #144323

      Have you thought about refuge plodding? People have opinions of there’s places but they’re so far removed from the ideas people have. The fact you’ve decided to leave is the first step the 2nd is a safety plan (making sure he’s not there and getting everything you need)if you give women’s aid a ring they could offer you a support worker to help, also speak to citizens advice (it does sound an unusual one) they do know about these things and can offer advice. The fact your with an abusive partner and fearful of his reactions and can no longer live with him puts you as homeless in the councils eyes so maybe speak to them but given the circumstances contacting women’s aid or (detail removed by moderator) would be an option that makes more sense then they can help with solicitors and anything else ☀️🐨☀️

    • #144414

      Hey plodding I’m in the same boat and just waiting for something to start that conversation. I was focusing too much on getting out but what I have learnt from here is apparently when the time is right it will happen x everyday I wake up and hope it’s today. We will get there we are taking steps and to have it clear in your head that you are done with it is massive and it does bring some comfort x the main thing is make sure you are safe x this may depend on the reaction from him when it’s said I am hoping to stay in daughters room while I find somewhere to live but I have also accepted that I may have to leave kids here if needed. The advice I have had from here is pack an emergency bag with some clothes paperwork charger etc in case you need to get out quickly. Be safe x

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