19th February 2021 at 1:38 pm #121975[email protected]Participant
Might be a long 1 so bare with me please. Me and my partner have been together nearly (detail removed by Moderator) years. We have children together too. He used to be violent, the strangled me a bit my face, strangled me on a separate occasion, smashed things broke things ect, threw me into a (detail removed by Moderator) when I was pregnant. He hasnt been violent for (detail removed by Moderator) years now. He cheated on me multiple times and was extremely paranoid. Checking my phone, making me text him every 20 minutes and getting paranoid if I was late texting. Thibgs haven’t been like that for a long time. He still accuses me of cheating on him occasionally when he argue. He’s addicted to w**d and I feel like I’m treading on eggshells around him when he runs out. He’s snappy, barely speaks to me he’s just miserable and short with the kids too. I never want to have sex with him and he gets angry when I say no. Is this abuse? I just don’t know anymore..I’ve rang womens aid and had a chat with them they want to do a risk assessment with me and for me to get a non molestation order. I’m scared of social services being involved. I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake ringing them in the first place like I’m overreacting or something. I dont think I want to be with him anymore but I’m terrified of actually ending things because its been me and him for so long I’m genuinely terrified nobody would ever love me.
19th February 2021 at 1:59 pm #121977DarcyParticipant
Good afternoon my beautiful angel … sunnyskies,
Well done … you have taken the first step, ringing women’s aid and posting on here, we are here to support you now.
Yes yes yes this IS abuse, this is not a healthy balanced relationship for you or your children to be living in.
I cant advise you on the legal stuff, someone else may post on here with advice for you on that and you of course did the right thing calling in. Keep educating yourself now and get your self informed on your rights and what services are available to support you. Also start gathering important documents together if you can for when you leave
However you say you are terrified that no one will ever love you, my darling what you are living in now isn’t love, so it can only get better, cant it?
What you need to be working on before anything is loving yourself, once you start doing this you will realise that this behaviour is unacceptable and you can start to set boundaries.
Try reading or listening to Louise Hay, You can heal your life. She talks about self love and boundaries… you need to get back into your power. This is also important to do so you don’t end up in another relationship like this
Sending you love and support
20th February 2021 at 7:50 pm #122063EmpoweredhealingParticipant
I’m so sorry for what you and your children have gone through. Everything you described is severe abuse. Abuse like this is illegal and your abuser have been able to perpetrate these crimes because no one else knows. As long as his abuse is allowed to live in darkness, nothing will change. WA is right because they recognize that you and your children have been living in extreme abuse for a long time.
There are healthy and kind people out here. Continue to reach out for help and support. You do not have to live the rest of your life in abuse. And your children deserve a healthy environment to grow up in as well.
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