11th September 2021 at 7:33 am #131325MimeParticipant
After a few days of relative peace he’s started with the anger, insults, mocking, belittling and accusations – insane things that he knows couldn’t be true.
I took too long over something in the house ~ I can’t say what because of anonymity – and now he says he’s leaving me but he won’t say why, just that it’s down to me and I know exactly what in doing – not his actual words.
Last time he did this, which was only recently, I tried not too react, but it escalated to the point I thought I was losing my mind.
I dont know what to do. If I don’t react he’ll get worse – I think he wants me to cry and beg, and I always do in the end, but mostly I don’t know what for.
He smirks when he sees me crying and shaking – I think he finds it deeply satisfying. He doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants – and I think he wants to break me. He will insult, mock and berate me, with intermittent silent treatment, until I beg for forgiveness.
How do I keep going through this. I feel like I’m walking back into a nightmare and I don’t know how to stay steady, and it feels so dark in this place.
11th September 2021 at 8:57 am #131329KIP.Participant
You’re right about his enjoyment destroying you. It doesn’t matter if you were the most perfect partner he’s just going to move the goal posts or invent something to justify his abusing you to himself. He’s not your friend. He doesn’t love you and his ultimate goal is to break you down and control you. You need to think about how you get out of this abusive relationship safely and with minimum damage to your mental health because he chooses to deliberately harm you x.
11th September 2021 at 8:58 am #131330KIP.Participant
Threats to leave are very common, it’s called push and pull a d leaves us spinning. Let him leave and change the locks but you can bet it’s just another form of mental torture. When that doesn’t crush you he will find something else to crush you with.
11th September 2021 at 9:19 am #131332EggshellsParticipant
I guess you have a few options:
You can go through it until you break again.
You can pretend to break very early on and try to fake the crying and shaking or you can walk out with a packed bag and not go back.
You may not feel able to manage any of those but unfortunately the knowledge of that will just fuel his cruelty further. At the end of the day, he is forcing you to make one of those unhappy choices.
Whichever you choose I’m totally confident the ladies on the forum will do their best to support you through it.
You’re heading into a crisis now. No-one will judge you for the choice you make – we’ve all faced the same choices and most of us will have tried at least 2 of those options at some point.
Whichever you choose, please post whenever you need support. xx
11th September 2021 at 9:31 am #131333EggshellsParticipant
I doubt very much he will leave but if he does, I agree with KIP. seize the opportunity to change the locks and make a report of domestic abuse to the police and your GP to prevent him ftom gaining legal re-entry.
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