Don’t know what to do

[velvet-ribbon]

My marriage has always had problems due to abuse that happened at the beginning of the relationship which escalated with pregnancy and childbirth. I always had hope that a person could change, and there have been some good times. Since that happened though I’ve had ongoing mental health problems including PTSD and have also struggled professionally. I’ve also been conflicted about the relationship and felt like I didn’t have the option to leave anyway due to not sustaining full time work. Ive always felt like his behaviour was emotionally abusive and he has always been controlling over money. However I have always loved him and thought if I could just sort myself out things would be better. I completed an intensive training course recently and was feeling very positive and hopeful about the future. I was on a high at the end of it and then I was blindsided by him about separation. It was just matter of fact. There were mixed messages and he has still been eating with us, acting like things are normal, but also some horrible comments. He asked me if I could do something for him that I have the skills for and I agreed because I thought he was reaching out. He is now communicating with me about this thing I agreed to in a very cold, business like manner. I also received alongside this a divorce application which has totally shocked me. I haven’t responded yet, and he is going on about things being amicable. I’m worried about what to do. He is constantly asking the children why they aren’t talking to him and sending me messages wanting to talk. I have said I won’t unless a third party is there. My PTSD has been really triggered and I feel scared to see him around the house.

[Lisa]

Hi velvet-ribbon,

Thank you for sharing with us about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling. It is understandable you feel as you do. I hope it is helping to post on the forum.

If you would like to chat confidentially to a Women’s Aid Support Worker via our Live Chat service it is currently open Mon-Fri 8am-4pm. You can find details here. The Support Workers won’t tell you what to do but can discuss options available based on your circumstances and signpost you to other organisations if needed.

Keep posting when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Author]

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