Don’t know what to think

[Daff]

My ex held me down on the bed and told me I was having it whether I liked it or not. He couldn’t get my bottoms down and stopped after me asking over and over. He sent me a message saying sorry for what he had done. I found out that he had been seeing someone else, he said it was because I wasn’t i wasn’t making him happy anymore. After this i did things that i didn’t feel comfortable with. I eventually left with the children moving in with my parents. Is what he did wrong or not because he didn’t go through with it.

[KIP.]

It’s absolutely wrong and attempted rape. It must have been terrifying for you. He has no more right to treat you that way than a stranger off the street. I bet there is so much more abuse that you don’t recognise. We minimise abuse as a way to cope. Rape crisis have a brilliant helpline if you want to talk about it x

[Daff]

Thank you, ive been feeling like im going mad. That i did something wrong.

[KIP.]

You absolutely did nothing wrong and you are not to blame for his despicable behaviour. Abusers like to blame us. Make us feel guilty. It’s part of their controlling behaviour. But they choose to behave the way they do.

[Daff]

Hes told the children about the message he sent. I dont know what exactly what was said but im afraid they are going to think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. Hes got a new girlfriend who has social services involved and my children have lied and kept secrets for them. Im afraid for them but don’t know what to do. We were together (detail removed by Moderator)yrs and everything has changed.

[KIP.]

Please ring the national domestic abuse helpline. It’s 24/7 and you can talk to someone there about your situation. Keep a detailed journal of what’s going on. Of what the children are being told and what they are saying. It will be useful evidence if ever needed. Keep his texts and emails etc. Abusers are liars and he will be lying to his new girlfriend too. Try to contact your local women’s aid for immediate support. My ex was badmouthing me to my son behind my back. He was trying to discredit me and play the victim himself. They don’t care about their children. Just be their rock. Keep setting a good positive example and keep talking to them. Let them know you’re always there for them.

[Author]

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