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    • #77031
      chooseyoux
      Participant

      I am so grateful to find this forum and be able to express what I have been going through. I have just broken up with my ex for at least the fifth time now. This person has stripped me of any motivation and care for anything and I really can not cope. For a long time now this person has driven me to thinking that I am insane, he smashed my personal belongings and got arrested for domestic violence, logged into my social media and taken screenshots of conversations I’d had before I even knew him without me knowing, threatened to expose me online and has been consistently verbally abusive and continually accusing me of lying. These accusations have been making me question my sanity as I know I haven’t done anything wrong but he has made me feel like there is something wrong with me.

      On his opposite side throughout this he is also crying to me and telling me how much he loves me which is why I keep ending up back with him. He has made me so paranoid and anxious and I’ve told him if he approaches me again I will get an injunction but I just don’t know if I could go through with it, he’s also threatened to kill himself so now I’m worried about that too. I don’t understand why I love someone that is this cruel to me.

    • #77036
      diymum@1
      Participant

      this is typical abusive behaviour – crazy making behaviour – its aim is to make you doibt yourself so that you go into a tail spin. then you cant defend yourself so then he keeps control. this is about him getting one upmanship over you. have you read living with the dominator? and why does he do that by lundy bancroft. its all there a real eye opener – he is using emotional blackmail in saying he will kill himself – he wont this is actually a very common tactic. id call womens aid to get some advice . your feelings of love for him are alot to with being trauma bonded to him have a look on google. once you understand the dynamics of this situation youll peice it together and be better equip to address this xx much love diymum xx

    • #77045
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      Hi there and welcome to the forum 💞 well done firstly in posting, it take courage to press that submit button. Have you spoken to anyone at women’s aid yet, they are a great source of knowledge and information and won’t push you into doing anything if you’re not ready to. If you look up trauma bonding and FOG which stands for fear obligation and guilt in an abusive relationship it will start to open your eyes. Keep posting and reading others posts, knowledge truly is power as they say.
      Ask anything you need to, nothing is out of bounds unless there’s a live court case ongoing.
      You will get through this, just take baby steps, we will work with you and help you through this all the way.
      IWMB 💞💞

    • #77177
      chooseyoux
      Participant

      Thank you for your replies. A lot of people are telling me to just get a grip and move on. Now knowing that these really are abusive behaviours and looking up trauma bonding I’m starting to feel a little less like I’m going mad. Thank you so much <3

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