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It is taking so much to write this so please please don’t judge.
Rewind almost (detail removed by moderator) ago when I first met him. Everything was amazing! A few months later I found out he took cocaine, every now and then. I let it slide. A few months later I started doing it with him. And that’s where I am trapped.
The emotional abuse started. Name calling, gas lighting, smashing the house up, making him angry. I’m too scared to phone them police or anybody else. When I say I am going to call them he “dares” me to, and I get scared and just sit there and take it. I live my life in fear, never knowing what mood he is going to be in or when he will suddenly turn on me for the slightest thing.
My children hate him. I hate him. He has started calling my (detail removed by moderator) year old horrible names and blaming it on her for the way she is toward him.
I’m too scared to tell him to leave as then everyone will know, and my life will come crashing down as he says.
I just don’t know where to turn.
Hi Sparklygiraffe, Well done for opening up, it takes a lot of courage. This is a very supportive community where you will not get judged so don’t worry about that. There are many places you can get support and advice. You could contact womens aid on their helpline. They are very helpful. The reason he is saying that your life will come crashing down is because he wants you to doubt yourself and stay in the relationship. Its a way of controlling you. I left my abusive ex a few years ago and my life has far from crashed down. I feel much stronger now than I ever had, and leaving him began that journey into self care and self knowledge and self support. Trust yourself and your gut and always know you can turn to people on this forum. Take care x
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