16th March 2016 at 6:34 pm #11647Confused123Participant
U try so hard to break this d**n cycle of abuse , I don’t even think it stop able some days , so today has been hard day , money is really tight but as a mum try to do my best, kids feeling it to but hey this is how u learn , so we all making do with whatever food is in house , kids have just had argument amongst themselves which has fully blown out, try to intervene as boys were getting physical with each another in process my youngest child shouts out this is all my fault , note have already had eldest say this to me earlier , both of them got told of by me that they need to stop blaming me and just deal with scenario instead of taking easy option and blaming me , but these kids r vile they then had cheek to say all I care about is studying and not even getting far with that , and not bed. A responsible parent . I was so furious I just went into one about how I’m trying to do my best for myself and them and how they clearly don’t appreciate anything and will just leave them to argue then as hard as I try to end cycle they can see what there dad did was wrong but choose to copy then walk off in tears . Gosh I just drink a bottle and forget it all but times r so hard can’t even afford drink so just crying instead , they have no idea how hard it is to keep going
16th March 2016 at 6:56 pm #11651HopespringsParticipant
Sending you a huge hug. I’m sure you’re doing a great job. Xx
16th March 2016 at 7:01 pm #11653AyannaParticipant
Aww, big hugs! Yes, kids can be so cruel. You did right telling them off. Keep on studying. They need to shut up and have to respect you. xx
16th March 2016 at 7:54 pm #11654SerenityParticipant
Poor you. Take a deep breath.
My eldest has just turned on me. He says his dad told him I ran off with xK put in a deposit account!
Truth is, my ex his money and took mine! I was left with overdraft, not hidden funds! And now debts!
My eldest was also laying I to my youngest. He also said I made the year after my ex left hell. When in fact, my ex was terrifying us all for the first year- until I got an injunction.
They’re lashing out. They feel let down, tired and their hormones are up and down. Stand firm, stend by your truth. Don’t out up with any no sense.
One piece of advice I got was, don’t let them off things because of what they’ve been through.
I am not stupid and I am sure my ex has been trying to communicate with, and lie, to my son to make him behave like this.
But I put my son straight. You should too. I never badmouth my ex, but there are times you need to stand up for yourself and be straight.
You and I have both got boys. We can’t let them turn into abusers like our exes. X
17th March 2016 at 1:23 am #11675AnonymousInactive
Hi confused 123,
I feel for you it is horrible when the kids turn on you. You are doing your best and that is all you can do. I suspect I have all this to come if things change as much as I think they are about to. I know how hard it can be to keep going when your head is telling you something completely different. Sending you hugs. You are amazing for getting this far and keeping it together.
I would try to be firm but fair. Seeing and going through things does not allow them to use that as an excuse to treat you badly. You are their mum they should respect you. I know its hard and it feels like you can’t do right for doing wrong but try and think of today as a bad day and hopefully tomorrow will be better, baby steps thats what we all need to take xx
17th March 2016 at 1:34 am #11676mixed-up mumParticipant
Hiya Confused123 – sorry you are having such a hard time – its not easy when you are struggling with daily life and then the kids add to your stresses – you wish the could just SEE how hard things are and just appreciate what you are trying to do for them – you are trying to hold the family together as best you can – No one sees that, no one appreciates your daily struggles.
Even ‘normal teenagers’ – don’t appreciate their mam – but you just feel like saying I’m doing my best here – give me a break!!!!!
Good on you for studying and trying to better yourself – you are amazing – wish I had your courage and dedication – hang on in there they WILL be proud of their mam one day – you might not think it now – but they will one day…..
No the kids have no idea just how hard it is to keep going.
Sorry falling asleep here – good night. x*x
17th March 2016 at 1:44 pm #11704Confused123Participant
thx ladies for your replyies of support, yes willbe sitting down with them and discussing
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