Don’t rush

[Losingbattle]

Getting out of my abusive marriage was the best thing I ever did. I felt a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I had bad days where I felt down and I found myself seeking comfort through the attention of another man. He said all the right things and the chemistry was amazing. He was in no way abusive but after (detail removed by Moderator) dates he lost interest. I’ll go as far as saying he completely ignored me. This made me feel terrible. All my insecurities came rushing back. I cried, I mean to cry over someone I hardly know seems pathetic. I’ve realised that it was way too soon to be seeking comfort in another man. Healing after an abusive relationship takes so much longer and I’m still not healed. My advice to anyone is don’t rush. Take your time, enjoy your kids, Learn to enjoy your own company. I honestly don’t know what it was that made me attempt something new with someone else but I’ve proved to myself that if after (detail removed by Moderator) dates I’m going to get worked up then I still have alot of self healing to do

[Darcy]

Good evening my beautiful angel… losingbattle
How brave of you to write such an open and honest post.
I truly believe self love ALWAYS has to come first and we can not give our love to anyone else if we do not love and respect ourselves
Being in an abusive relationship knocks our self worth, so to you and everyone else please, please, please start from within when looking for love… you are worth loving
Sending you love and support
D xx

[Losingbattle]

I’ve found it difficult and I was on such a high when I was getting the attention. But I know now that I’m not ready for everything that goes with it. I’ve Also asked my gp for help with counselling

[StationEleven]

Thank you for sharing your feelings Losingbattle. I have such a fear of men at the moment, it seems like I won’t ever be able to be with someone, trust another man. I was trying fee app dating but after a couple of messages I just understood that I am not ready. I dont have a space in me for another man right now. So I totally understand how you feel, and yes I think you made a right decision- take it slowly, enjoy been single 🙂❤

[Darcy]

Hello beautiful angels … Losingbattle & stationeleven,
Its so brave of you both to post openly about your feelings.
We all want to be loved and in a romantic relationship, however that love has to start with ourselves
Please spend as much time as possible focusing on yourselves and building up your self love, self worth and self respect.
Start small with little things like honoring yourself with healthy food and a daily walk, or a bubble bath or a bedtime routine.
Not all men are bad or have bad intentions but until you love yourself you will not be able to recognise the good ones from the bad ones.
Any relationship should always be healthy, balanced, respectful, kind and loving, start by giving all these qualities to yourself and you will find love
Sending you my love and support
D xx

[KIP.]

Take note of the journey to your final destination. You can lean a lot along the way. It’s not wasted 💕

[Eggshells]

Hi Losingbattle, You are absolutely right, there is no rush. Just take your time to get settled and comfortable with yourself. You are very brave to even consider the possibility of a future relationship but if and when you go there, you really do need to be ready. You do know that you can trust in yourself to understand when you are ready, you have already shown yourself that. Until you are ready to find romantic love, I’m sending you my own brand of love and respect that I have for all the lovely ladies on the forum. 😘

[Losingbattle]

Thank you everyone for your lovely supportive messages. I think I’m just going through a difficult point at the moment and at moments when I’m feeling lonely I’ve made rushed decisions. Baby steps

[gettingtired]

Hi, I can relate to this as I met someone I really liked through my old work and have had to fight feelings and daydreams of him rescuing me from my current abusive relationship. It’s so hard. I keep thinking well if I leave this relationship then I only want to be with him as find most other men just cringe or I’m not interested in them whatsoever. He’s the only person I’ve truly been attracted to since meeting my current bf (years ago). I do wonder if he confessed to me now that he had feelings for me or something whether that would push me to leave my current relationship.. that makes me feel pathetic to admit. I am trying to stop this daydreamy mentality and force myself to focus on me but it is hard. I do understand why people jump from one straight into another but I know it’s super important to have that time alone to heal yourself. Hope you’re ok x*x

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